Positively Transforming: Estonia

Estonian at its most aesthetic

2008-06-05T10:02:00.006+03:00

A board of language experts recently picked ten sentences which they claim best showcase the beauty of the Estonian language. These are they.

• «Üle oja mäele, läbi oru jõele.»

• «Kalli ema hella soojust jagub üle mitme põlve.»

• «Kuula, kulla külanaine – kuuled külla tulnud vaime.»

• «Küll küllale liiga ei tee.»

• «Mahlakas jõhvikas maitses soisel kaldal hää.»

• «Ämber läks ümber.»

• «Millal maksan memme vaeva.»

• «Tilluke talleke tatsas tasasel pinnal.»

• «Ema tuli koju.»

• «Pöidlad pihku, pöialpoisid!»

To me half of them seem like they were just designed to be tonguetwisters or entries in an Alliteration Can Be Fun contest. For what it's worth, here's my translations of them.

• "Over the creek to the hill, through the valley to the river."
• "The gentle warmth of a beloved mother is felt over several generations."
• "Listen, dear village woman – you will hear the spirits who have come to the village."
• "A little bit more won't make any difference."*
• "The juicy cranberry tasted good on the boggy bank."
• "The bucket tipped over."
• "When will I give mum her due?"*
• "The tiny little lamb toddled on even ground."
• "Mother came home."
• "Thumbs up, Thumbelina!"*

They don't have quite the same ring to them in English, do they. Personally, my favourite is «Üle oja mäele, läbi oru jõele», although «Ämber läks ümber» has an ironic sense of balance to it too.

*Thanks to Greta for helping me out with these, which are either very colloquial or don't really mean anything. Apparently «Küll küllale liiga ei tee» is what you might say in a situation where you have done something so much that doing a bit more of it won't change anything or make the situation noticeably worse eg if you've run up so much debt on your credit card that buying something else won't make much difference. «Millal maksan memme vaeva» is an old saying related to paying someone the respect they deserve. «Pöidlad pihku, pöialpoisid!» means bugger all and was presumably coined just because the 'experts' liked the sound of it. Ironically (again) it's probably the one that sounds best in English :)

Now that's what I call service

2008-06-04T16:45:00.003+03:00

I had to laugh at the results of a Postimees survey published yesterday. It asked the question: "What can we use to attract tourists to Estonia?" The following is a breakdown of the responses.

49% - Beautiful natural environment

17% - Good service

11% - Low prices

9% - Sights of historical interest

6% - Friendly and attractive people

5% - Cultural events

3% - Nice museums

Can you guess which answers made me chuckle? Obviously I agree with every other respondent about how beautiful the country is, and I wouldn't even argue the point about the locals being friendly or things being cheap (although clearly the majority of those who answered don't live in Tallinn).

What surprises me most is that almost one in every five people believe that the standard of service in Estonia is good enough to attract tourists. True, things are improving, particularly on the restaurant and cafe scene. But let me share this little vignette with you about a recent trip to the one and only local franchise of T.G.I. Friday's. You can take the part of the waitress if you like.

Us: "Excuse me, miss, these fries are cold."

Her: [with a smile and a ridiculous hat] "Oh."

Us: "Can you take them back and bring us some hot ones?"

Her: [still with a smile] "Sorry, no."

Us: [shocked silence as we look from one person to another]

Her: [still smiling]

Us: "Then we won't pay for them."

Her: [smiles, shrugs and walks away]

Flying the flag

2008-06-04T16:27:00.011+03:00

Today is Estonian Flag Day. Estonian Flag Day is celebrated every year on June 4 to mark the anniversary of the adoption of the sinimustvalge (the 'blue, black and white' as it is affectionately known) as the national flag by the Estonian Students Society 125 years ago. And here's a picture.

For those of you who don't know why the Estonian flag is such an odd combination of colours, Wikipedia explains: "Blue is the colour of loyalty and also represents the sky, sea, and lakes. Black symbolises the past suffering of the people, the soil, and the traditional black peasant's jacket. White represents virtue and the struggle for freedom. It is also the colour of birch bark and snow."

I think it is rather lovely.

Ace!

2008-06-04T16:14:00.003+03:00

Kaia Kanepi has become the first Estonian ever (I think) to make it to the quarter finals of the French Open, seeing her WTA ranking shoot up from where it used to be, probably somewhere in the three digits, to somewhere close to the top 40.

She is set to face Russian world #4 Svetlana Kuznetsova in today's round of play, and if she manages to make it past her to the semi-finals she will have pulled off the biggest coup of her tennis life. Let's just hope she doesn't make a hash of it, otherwise her budding ambitions might go to pot. And other such puns based on the fact that her name means 'cannabis' in Estonian.

It is a bit of a Baltic onslaught at Roland Garros this year, incidentally, with not only our Kaia making it to the final eight, but also Ernests Gulbis in the men's draw. But then he's from Latvia, so we don't care about him.

Hiatus over

2008-05-28T12:52:00.002+03:00

Eurovision over - Estonia having come 41st out of a field of 43 - you will, I'm sure, all be delighted to hear that normal service should resume on this blog 'in the nearest future' as the locals are wont to say. Typically, lots of things have happened in the last couple of months I would have liked to blog about, but alas, time was not on my side. Still, that should all change now. Hurrah! you all cry.

Hiatus

2008-04-15T20:34:00.002+03:00

Brief update to let all you untold thousands of readers know that there will be a brief pause in proceedings between now (or rather two weeks ago) and the end of May while I focus on my other blog. This is good news for anyone with a particular interest in the 2008 edition of the Eurovision Song Contest. Normal service shall resume in June at the latest.

You could have fooled me

2008-04-01T11:57:00.004+03:00

Delfi today has at least eight stories on its front page alone that are clearly April Fool's jokes just from the headlines.

They include 'Parliamentarians to give up salaries', which is obviously ludicrous, and 'Anu Saagim to become editor of Postimees', which I only hope is.

Now I know Delfi's is not the most educated of target audiences, but all the same: what's the point of an April Fool's joke if it's so obvious you can spot it a mile away?

The Weathergirl

2008-03-31T15:33:00.003+03:00

In a terrible indictment of the state of pop music in this country, Niki (aka Kanal 2 weathergirl Kairit Tuhkanen) was awarded the title of Female Artist of the Year at last weekend's Estonian Music Awards, and also walked away with Album of the Year for Äike Päike. Then again, the super-talented Mari-Leen won last year, so at least the voting is consistent.

Surprisingly, the singer herself - perhaps suspecting that people might scoff at the announcement - was quick to downplay her success, as reported by SL Õhtuleht. "I'm shocked," she told her audience of peers when she took to the podium. "I'm not a singer - I'm someone's project! There are plenty of us around, but we never last long." We can only hope so.

http://www.sloleht.ee/index.aspx?id=273042

Perfectly average

2008-03-29T14:21:00.006+02:00

Independent weekly paper Eesti Ekspress has analysed a range of surveys to produce an identikit of Estonia's Mr & Mrs Average. Here are their bullet-point findings:

Mr Average (aged 37)

*Mr Average will live to the age of 67, so he has another good 30 years ahead of him.
*His name is likely Sergei, Margus or Andrei, as these were the most popular boys' names in 1971.
*He works in the processing industry or construction or as an equipment or machine operator. He received a vocational education.
*He probably drives a Volkswagen, as they are the most common cars in the country. If not that then the number two: a Ford.
*He wears size 43 shoes.
*He smokes, having started at the age of 18.
*The most popular alcoholic beverage with Mr Average is beer (he drinks it every week).
*In the last 30 days he could well have had a bad back.
*He is a tad overweight.

Mrs Average (aged 42)

*Unlike her husband, Mrs Average will live to the ripe old age of 78.

*Her name is most probably Jelena, Svetlana or Tiina.

*She works in a factory or a shop or has something to do with education. She is probably a middle-level or senior specialist in her field.

*While she has the same i.e. vocational education as her husband (or partner), she has also done in-service training.

*She had her first baby at 25, which means that baby is now 17 years old (and called either Martin or Kristina).

*Mrs Average wears size 38 or 39 shoes.

*She doesn't smoke and is in the healthy weight range.

*She has a glass of wine or some other alcohol at least once a month.

*She most likely had a headache at some point in the past 30 days.

Other interesting titbits the Eesti Ekspress article threw up included the following facts:

*While Mr & Mrs Average do their shopping two to three times a week at big supermarkets, eschewing corner shops and convenience stores, they still get their potatoes from acquaintances who grow their own and honey from a friendly beekeeper.

*In the event that the beekeeper or anyone else tempts them into casual sex outside of the relationship, they won't use a condom.
*If this doesn't kill them, a coronary will. Or cancer.

*Mr & Mrs Average do not represent the average Estonian family at all: the most widespread family unit in the country is the single-parent model. Since they're together they are most likely an amalgam of families, with at least one child not being the fruit of both of their loins.

http://www.ekspress.ee/2008/03/27/eesti-uudised/1864-saage-tuttavaks-marju-ja-harju-keskmine

Snowed under

2008-03-26T18:07:00.002+02:00

A week after the official start of spring, Tallinn (and the rest of Estonia) awoke this morning to snowdrifts up to a metre high, with more snow having fallen in one night than fell during the whole of winter.

This makes for rather a pretty sight when you're looking at it out of the window, but proves rather more challenging when you have to make your way through it. Apart from the obvious - broken down buses and people staring helplessly at the car-shaped piles of snow they're meant to be driving - the blizzard has seen a sharp rise in the number of perplexed tourists from southern Europe saying things like "what happened to spring?".

Great Friday

2008-03-22T16:03:00.004+02:00

The Good Friday public holiday yesterday was marked in Tallinn by an unusual bout of sunshine lasting pretty much all day long. It inspired me to go out and walk around the Old Town, which in turn inspired me to take some photos. Here's a montage or two of some of them.

Your worship

2008-03-20T13:08:00.002+02:00

Spring started this morning at 7.48 am with Bishop Andres Põder of the Estonian Evangelical Lutheran Church delivering a sermon on ETV's morning television programme Terevisioon denouncing the false god that people in Estonia have taken to worshipping of late.

"The only god Estonians know is money, but at least they've started to realise that it's not the only source of happiness in the world," his bishopness said. He added that they have achieved a level of wealth at which they should stop and take stock, before they burn out completely in their quest to be better than everyone else.

Interestingly, Põder did not seem to be on a recruitment drive (not that one would be very successful in a country as areligious as Estonia) and becomes the first religious leader in a long time who has said anything I actually agree with.

How Estonian are you?

2008-03-18T11:27:00.006+02:00

A former colleague of mine sent me a list the other day with which to check whether you've been in Estonia too long or how Estonian you really are. Having cut out about two-thirds of it, it goes something like this:

You know you’ve been in Estonia too long when...

- Things are not ‘great’ or ‘amazing’ anymore; they’re just ‘normal’.⁪

⁪⁪- You hear loud-talking passengers on the bus and immediately assume they are drunkor Russian-speaking or both.

- You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the supermarket and which ones can be used for garbage.

- You chat with people by MSN or Skype even if they’re two metres away from you.

- You stop asking “How are you?” when you meet people: you simply greet them with ‘hei’ or ‘chau’ and keep your distance. If you want to be very effusive, you lengthen the last vowel.
- You’ve replaced other English expressions with Estonian ones too. Your native language has seriously deteriorated.

- Your definition of spicy food has seriously deteriorated.

- Customer service is no longer linked with courtesy.

- You don’t think twice about wearing flip-flops indoors.

You know you are from Estonia when...

- You are convinced that Estonia is very strategically located.

- When someone asks you “Where is Estonia?” you quickly reply that it’s in Northern Europe close to Finland.

- You have actually been to Finland.
- You take a box of Kalev chocolates when visiting friends abroad.

- Kohukesed form part of your diet.

- You check the thermometer before going out.

- You look in both directions before crossing the road, even if it’s a one-way street (or pedestrian mall).

- You declare your taxes on the internet like all normal people do.

- A foreigner speaks to you in broken, horrible Estonian and you go on and on about how wonderful their Estonian is compared to ‘the Russians’.⁪

⁪- Your best friend’s girlfriend is your English teacher’s daughter and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with your advisor, who is friends with your...

- You’ve cheated on your partner at least ten times but still think you’re in a good relationship.

Funnily enough, most of the second lot also apply to me. I guess that means I've been in Estonia a fair while?

Mees, kes teadis ussisõnu

2008-03-17T13:30:00.006+02:00

Only a year and a month after it was released, I finally finished Andrus Kivirähk's latest novel over the weekend. Mees, kes teadis ussisõnu or 'The man who could speak the language of snakes' is an unrelentingly dark and sullen tale of decay laced with black humour and unflinching in its atheism.

Set somewhere in Estonia at some point in the Middle Ages when the old world was steadily being submerged by the new, it features a memorable cast of characters and tells an unfolding story that spirals ever downwards from the first line until it reaches its inevitably gloomy (but still rather moving) conclusion. Needless to say it is not for those looking for cheery bed-time reading.

Indeed, it's not for people who don't understand Estonian either, at least until it appears in translation. But if you're a foreigner with a grasp of the language and a desire to look at the country in a different light, it's a book I highly recommend. Everyone else should keep their eyes and ears open for it in the hope it hits the shelves in other languages over the next few years.

(Oh, and by the way: the author, Andrus Kivirähk, has also written a fantastic children's book called Kaelkirjak or 'The giraffe'. Not sure whether that's available in translation either, but the recommendation applies all the same to this. Plus it's recently been re-released in a new hardcover version with lavish illustrations which makes a great read for [more advanced] learners of the language.)

That's not for me to say

2008-03-13T12:35:00.007+02:00

Eesti Ekspress is reporting that like his Russian-speaking constituents being anti-foreigner, Tallinn mayor Edgar Savisaar is anti-gay.

Under the headline "Savisaar shows no support for sexual minorities", the independent weekly reveals that the jolly leader of the Centrist Party has declined to join other European mayors - including those of Paris, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Stockholm and Barcelona - in upholding the rights of gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and transexuals to freedom of speech and public expression.

Sparking controversy is the fact that though personally called upon to address the matter, Savisaar passed the buck on deciding not to support it to his underlings. "What we are dealing with here in an important stance and an issue that is very topical in society today, which is why I am asking the education and culture committee of Tallinn City Council to examine the issue and make their own proposals," Savisaar wrote. They advised him not to sign up.

The nub of the letter addressed to Europe's mayors by sexual minority representatives is the infringement of their rights in post-Communist Eastern Europe: restricting freedom of speech and making it almost impossible to hold demonstrations and public gatherings, with the police failing to provide sufficient security. It also points out that leading politicians in neighbouring countries (but not Estonia itself) have used discriminatory language in reference to sexual minorities.

Sadly, whether or not Itkar acted appropriately in delegating responsibility for weighing up the issue, it was a no-win situation to begin with: someone in his position, from his party, considering its grass roots support, was never going to sign up to anything so taboo, and the fact that the issue remains so in the country means that his inevitable 'no' will only reinforce the image of Estonia as a homophobic nation. Which it perhaps deserves.

http://www.ekspress.ee/2008/03/13/eesti-uudised/1618-savisaar-ei-toeta-seksuaalvahemusi

What are they good for?

2008-03-13T11:55:00.006+02:00

With news that the government is set to take a more lenient stance on the issue of allowing foreign workers into Estonia (reducing the amount of red tape from 'suffocating' to 'mild choking') comes the inevitable vox populi which highlights that - surprise! - Joe Average is overwhelmingly against the idea.

A survey has shown that two thirds of the population in no way support the importing of Johnny Foreigner. Interestingly enough, given what the last mass introduction of outsiders meant for their country, it was the Estonian-speakers who proved more tolerant of the notion than the Russian-speakers. Then again, that could be down to paranoid protectionism and/or inherent racism.

The reasons the respondents gave for their views varied. Of the few who support the idea, the main arguments proferred were the need for specialists and, less objectively, the inevitability of it all. Those condemning the plan did so because they don't like foreigners, are convinced that the Estonian people will be wiped off the face of the Earth and assume that there are huge untapped human resources in the country.

Those with such clearly well-informed views need fear not, however, for while the government may be increasing the numbers of people it will let in to Estonia, it will also be knuckling down to ensure that these numbers are not exceeded, which they have never really done in the past. Besides, even if they do shorten the time they are given to be generally unpleasant, unhelpful, unwelcoming and condescending towards potential residents from six to two months, the fact that such attitudes are unlikely to change may still see many applicants turning away in frustration and disgust anyway.

English at the gates

2008-03-13T10:53:00.004+02:00

The future of Estonia is in jeopardy: officials are concerned that with as many as 84% of all students in Estonian schools studying English as a second language and the popularity of languages such as German and French seriously on the wane, there will not be enough speakers of other EU languages in the years to come.

“The only way we'll get ourselves any proper specialists is if these languages are taught thoroughly and if the students gain experience in learning a number of them,” said Kersti Sõstar, the director of the language department of the National Examinations and Qualifications Centre.

41% of students (and rising) are currently taking Russian classes, while only 18% are studying German and a mere 3% French - with just 4% and 1% respectively studying the latter two as their first foreign language. Meanwhile, 71% are plumping for English as their foreign tongue of choice.

However, it is generally the schools themselves who decide which languages they teach (rather than the students being given the choice) and therefore which are given priority. This has led to many teachers of other languages having to turn traitor and take up teaching English lest they find themselves out of a job.

Now call me a cynic, but this in itself does not necessarily bode well for the teaching of English in Estonian schools. Sure, the methodology might be the same, but are the skills necessarily on par? Besides, if the state's education honchos are really so concerned about Estonians speaking EU languages, where are the schools offering Maltese and Irish Gaelic?

http://www.epl.ee/uudised/422052

True blue ambassadors

2008-03-13T10:00:00.006+02:00

MP Marko Mihkelson has been blogging about his trip to Australia as part of a delegation led by Riigikogu chair Ene Ergma. It has convinced him that the Estonian government should seriously consider opening an embassy in Canberra (yes, it's the capital). Here is what he says.

Here and there in Estonia you hear dissenting voices saying: why should we bother building an embassy that far away and waste the state's money? It's obvious that the country's options are pretty limited when it comes to new embassies, so every decision to do so needs to be weighed up very carefully.

But if we are to establish embassies anywhere [other than the new ones planned for Egypt, Israel and India over the next couple of years], our first choice should be Australia. There are a number of reasons for this. For a start, Australia is one of our closest allies. Secondly, it is home to the fifth-largest Estonian population in the world and the only community of its size not to be represented by an embassy. Thirdly, Australia is the perfect gateway to south-east Asia and the Pacific. Fourthly, there is huge growth potential in bilateral trade of goods and knowledge. And fifthly, of the 27 member states of the European Union, 23 have embassies in Canberra. Those that don't are Luxembourg and the three Baltic States. Which says a lot.

Other factors which Mihkelson mentions, albeit not necessarily as part of his argument for setting up an embassy, are the fact that Estonia's ambassador to Australia is currently based in Japan (and I thought having to get my passport renewed through Stockholm was a pain in the arse!) and the revelation that the first Estonians in fact reached Terra Australis as long ago as 1696 - as part of the crew of a Dutch expedition led by Willem de Vlamingh. (I should probably point out to Sandy Casar, who pondered about this amazing discovery on Mihkelson's blog, that the likelihood of the three men in question 'staying on to live in Australia' is not very high.)

Mihkelson, Ergma and a few other MPs are ostensibly in Australia on an official visit to Sydney and Canberra, meeting parliamentary delegates, federal representatives and local Estonian residents and associations, but undoubtedly also living it up if our Marko's blog is anything to go by.

PS Can I work in the Australian embassy if one is ever opened here in Tallinn?

http://markomihkelson.blogspot.com/

A woman's work is never done

2008-03-12T14:37:00.006+02:00

Estonian women are learning more and working more. Estonian men are getting more and more stupid and dying sooner, but still earning more than women. Such are the findings of the latest Eurostat report, which looks at the lives of men and women all over Europe.

The report finds that Estonian women are typical of those in Eastern Europe: compared to their sisters in the west, they marry, have children and die younger, after lengthy stints as widows, since all of the men are dying before them - and there are less of them anyway. Many in fact do so long before them; Estonia is second only to Lithuania in the number of teenage boys dying in accidents. (And despite the fact that it is second to none in the number of teenage girls dying in the same way.)

In terms of education and employment, Estonian women benefit from the legacy of the Soviet Union: while post-graduate studies elsewhere in Europe are dominated by men, Estonia is one of the very few countries in which there are more women doing PhDs; and the only country in the EU in which the number of men and women in work are equal. Mind you, this could have something to do with the fact that the lads are popping their clogs so soon - on average 11.2 years before the lasses - which could also explain why Estonia's ladies are considered the hardest-working on the continent.

The rest of the report, which in fact makes for interest reading, goes on to talk about the differences in pay between men and women and the way certain professions are categorised as "women's" and other jobs as "men's", and treated accordingly (i.e. outrageously). Click on the link below to read it in Estonian, or find it in English on the Internet... somewhere.

http://www.delfi.ee/news/paevauudised/eesti/article.php?id=18415321

Demigods of democracy

2008-03-12T13:57:00.005+02:00

A number of sources have been trumpeting the fact that some German foundation is claiming Estonia's political elite are the equivalent of global first princess in a Miss Democracy and Financial Management competition.

Estonia has been ranked the second most democratic and economically successful country in the world* in a report put together by the Bertelsmann Foundation, who say that the country's system of government is completely consolidated i.e. enjoys a relatively stable party system. The only cloud the foundation can spot on the horizon is the public's disillusionment in politics generally.

Indeed, the foundation is full of praise for the steady hand on Estonia's economic tiller, encouraging it to make the most of the opportunities that accession to the European Union has opened up to it. The only sour note in their report stems from the integration situation in the country. "To prevent the division of Estonia along ethnic lines, the integration programme designed for the Russian minority must continue," it said. "First and foremost this affects young Russian-speakers, who must not be ostracised. They are the key in shoring up the nation's human resources and ameliorating tension with Russia."

http://www.sloleht.ee/index.aspx?id=270561

*of the 125 developing nations and transitional states whose quality of democracy, market economics and political management they studied

Spot the difference

2008-03-10T21:23:00.002+02:00

The new Chancellor of Justice has taken up his post. On the left, ex-CoJ Allar Jõks. On the right, new boy Indrek Teder. Any focally and follicly challenged up and coming legal genii: your future is right here.

Purr

2008-03-04T21:34:00.003+02:00

Here's a picture of the cat we adopted on the weekend. We named her Nurr, which is Estonian for 'purr' (but doesn't rhyme with it).

She had been at the animal shelter for the better part of a year, having been found in a dilapidated cellar in a coma and suffering from all manner of illnesses and injuries, but pulled through and was nursed back to health. Amongst all the kittens and more glamorous contenders however she had been consistently overlooked... until we turned up.

"You don't choose them, they choose you" was certainly true in this case, as she came straight up to us, rubbing around our legs, rubbing our knuckles - just looking for a bit of love. Since then she's proven to be extremely affectionate, almost to the point of overkill - but it will take time for her to settle in and settle down, and she seems to like it here with us.

So Nurr is our contribution to the Estonian animal welfare system and she is a contribution to our welfare too. Like I said in the last post, I encourage anyone thinking of getting a pet to do so through the shelter - the staff there are friendly, helpful, encouraging and most of all grateful, and the animals really do need good homes to go to.

Pat-a-Cat

2008-02-29T22:15:00.005+02:00

Tomorrow we're off to the ASBL Animal Shelter (known as MTÜ Loomade Hoiupaik in Estonian). They have an ad on their site at the moment which reads thus:

COME AND PAT A CAT OR TAKE A DOG FOR A WALK!
Not all pets are lucky - some of them have no owners. Those in our animal shelter miss the interaction that relationship provides. Come and visit them, talk to them, take the dogs for a walk and pat the cats, and you'll be doing more for them than you might think :-)
__________

TULE TEE KASSILE PAI VÕI VII KOER JALUTAMA!
Kõigil loomadel ei ole vedanud, paljudel neist puudub oma inimene. Loomade Hoiupaiga asukad tunnevad puudust suhtlemisest ja tegevusest. Tule neile külla, aja juttu, jaluta koertega ja silita kasse ning Sa aitad neid rohkem kui oskad arvata :-)

Here at Positively Transforming: Estonia we love animals and wholeheartedly support any non-profit organisation dedicated to looking after them - especially those lost or abandoned. We are planning to make our own contribution to the shelter and recommend that anyone reading this consider doing the same. A little bit of affection goes a long way, and costs sod all.

http://www.loomadehoiupaik.ee/?lang=est

Power to the principals

2008-02-29T21:40:00.005+02:00

It's been a day for school-related news. At the annual conference of the Association of Estonian School Principals, Minister for Education Tõnis Lukas has confirmed his intention to submit a proposal to local governments to provide principals with greater powers of reprimand.

“That way they could decide for themselves on the spot whether to issue the likes of a verbal warning or a fine to students or anyone else who happens to misbehave on school premises,” the minister said. “This will undoubtedly help to rein in students who act out, use foul language, deliberately provoke teachers and other students or smoke on school grounds.”

Why do I not share his conviction?

School ≠ holidays

2008-02-29T20:50:00.008+02:00

School principals the length and breadth of Tartu (the 'City of Good Thoughts') have been whinging to Delfi that they'd had it up to here with their students bunking off to go on package holidays with their families.

Hugo Treffner High School, one of the most prestigious in the education capital of the country, has published a plee to parents on its website to no longer withdraw the fruit of their loins from classes for the purpose of frivolous travel. "There's a time and a place for holidays from school," said principal Ott Ojaveer, "and that's school holidays. The rate of absenteeism has gone through the roof."

The frustrated principal complains that parents seeking permission for their children to play hooky and skip the country means extra work for teachers and administrative staff. As things stand, schools have no right to refuse such permission and are left in the impotent position of merely being able to suggest that it might not be such a great idea.

The board of Miina Härma High School are facing the same problem. Stand-in principal Heikki Veinimäe* says a lot of travel agencies offer discount package tours during the off season which families latch onto. The only solution he foresees is the implementation of national regulations. "If the number of holidays being taken continues to increase, as well as the length of time these kids are out of school, we'll have to take the matter in hand," he said.

* what's the betting the real principal was on holiday?

Put paid to payrises!

2008-02-29T11:47:00.008+02:00

Independent weekly Eesti Ekspress has been joined by a number of other media publications and public figures in calling on Estonia's parliamentarians to stop giving themselves pay rises when they're clearly not doing anything to deserve it. The following is a translation of the text that appeared in the newspaper yesterday.

At a time when even prime minister Andrus "Don't worry, everything's fine" Ansip is talking about belt-tightening, there is a select group of people in our society already living the high life whose salaries are going up yet again this winter - this time by 20 percent! And they'll be going up again in the coming year, and the year after that, and will keep on going up.

We're talking, of course, about the 101 members of the Riigikogu (the Estonian parliament - Ed.), whose salaries are four times the national average. At the beginning of the '90s this kind of pay was justified if normal people were ever to be enticed to enter parliament. But the system has long since become very unfair in the eyes of the majority of Estonia's citizens.

The overweening lifestyle our parliament leads has deepened disillusionment in politics as a whole and is damaging Estonia's reputation. Parties and politicians, wake up and smell the coffee! Agree that things can't go on the way they have been. Figure out a new salary system that doesn't fly in the face of fairness. And if you can't come up with anything yourselves, find some intelligent people who can.

We've had it up to here with party BS and politicians not being able to come to any agreement. For Christ's sake, just do it!

Daily broadsheet Postimees conducted a poll in response to the issue the Eesti Ekspress article raised, asking readers who they thought she be responsible for determining how much the country's parliamentarians get paid. 0.5% said the Riigikogu itself, 3.5% said the president, and the remaining 96% were united in saying the job should fall to an impartial commission. But who appoints the members?

http://www.ekspress.ee/2008/02/28/eesti-uudised/1413-eesti-ekspressi-yleskutse-riigikogu-peatage-oma-taltsutamatu-palgatous

Doing it for Estonia: the apology

2008-02-27T13:27:00.003+02:00

Disgraced* athlete Kristjan Rahnu has, as promised, issued a statement to the press about the whorehouse-related charges brought against him. It goes something like this:

"I'm a decathlete who, out of naievity and stupidity, has found himself in the thick of something I wouldn't recommend to anybody. For the confusion and unpleasantness I've caused I would like to apologise to [a long list of people]...

I've made mistakes, but I'm not a pimp. On the advice of my legal counsel and because the law dictates, I'm restricting my communication with the media, and to be honest I'm not ready for anything more... I know that my statement today and my wish not to appear on TV may be interpreted as an admission of guilt in terms of the accusations that have been made in the press. Honest people have nothing to hide and all that. But while the case is ongoing I can only repeat that I'm not a pimp.

What I want is to continue my career in sport, and I hope that's possible. It's the only way I'll be able to get my life back on track. In the meantime I'll provide all the help I can to the authorities in the name of a just finding. I hope you understand me. If you don't, I understand why."

* in the sense of 'by association'

I don't want to hear your words

2008-02-27T11:13:00.005+02:00

President Toomas Hendrik Ilves has hit the headlines in the Estonian and international press for his views on speaking Russian.

Interviewed by an 'old friend', BBC journalist and Russophile Tim Whewell, and asked why he doesn't speak the language spoken by more than a quarter of Estonia's population, Ilves was quoted/misquoted/taken out of context as saying that speaking Russian would be like giving the nod to 50 years of brutal suppression. This inflammatory soundbite was quickly taken up by the local Russian press, with headlines along the lines of 'president refuses to speak language of occupiers', and also made it into the foreign media.

An opinion piece written by one Laur Viirand appeared on Delfi today in response to the controversy, extracts of which I have translated hereunder. Healthy debate of contentious issues is encouraged.

It's perfectly understandable that Ilves as an individual may not necessarily like the idea of studying and speaking Russian. To foreign Estonians the language perhaps symbolises their being forced to flee from occupation and the loss of their homeland. Unfortunately, things aren't quite so black and white when it's the president we're talking about. Such an inflexible position is not becoming of the office of president, whose primary role should be to mitigate conflict in society.

A foreign Estonian president taking up Russian lessons would be a magnanimous gesture, something the undercurrent of tension in the country needs. It would by no means be a sign of weakness, the imminent arrival of a second national language or some kind of white flag — rather it would be an indication of strength and the overcoming of complexes.

It would also be a sign of the maturity of the country. A decision by the president to learn Russian would not only be welcomed by the local Russian-speaking population, but it would also show solidarity with the majority of the Estonian-speaking population — most of whom were once forced to learn the language themselves.

http://www.delfi.ee/news/paevauudised/arvamus/article.php?id=18297311

Ticking time bomb

2008-02-25T16:31:00.002+02:00

A passing reference by my partner led me to an article (link below) in Maaleht, Estonia's country newspaper, talking about the pros and cons of a warm, dry, snowless winter i.e. what we are experiencing at the moment. Though more than a year old, the stark warnings it delivers remain as pertinent as ever. Here is one we should all bear in mind for the forthcoming summer.

Warm winters are terrific for ticks: they breed like rabbits. Ticks will remain active even if the temperature is only hovering around +5 degrees, but since people rarely get back to nature in winter, infections just as rarely present themselves.

Now is nevertheless a good time to think of immunisation, getting your first shots in February or March. “Ticks are getting more infectious every year, which is why more people are getting sick,” explained someone from some hospital (etc).

The article goes on to say that on the plus side, warm winters mean there will be enough oxygen for fish (?) and that wild pigs will have plenty to forage for. Better yet, less people are likely to top themselves - something that is more common than you might think:

Thoughts frequently turn to suicide [at this time of year] – the majority of us have contemplated it at some point. This generally never develops into a concrete plan, however, and nothing comes of it.

Life in the country must really be hard with all these rampaging ticks and oxygen-starved fish.

http://www.maaleht.ee/?page=&grupp=artikkel&artikkel=7644

Foreign perspective

2008-02-25T15:10:00.007+02:00

Saturday's Arter, the weekend magazine supplement to Postimees, featured an article entitled 'Do foreigners love us?' in which seven international students at the University of Tartu were interviewed about Estonia and Estonians and how their ideas and preconceptions about them have changed.

It made for interesting if slightly predictable reading, with most of the seven giving responses you might expect of people with their backgrounds - the Caucuses, Central Asia and the Far East - who have been in the country for a short time. The most amusing (qv scathing and on the mark) came from the only female respondent, Brazilian Helena de Mesquita da Silva (pictured with the caption that accompanied her snapshot in the magazine). What follows are the questions submitted to the group and Helena's responses to them.

What has surprised you most in Estonia?
The looks I get, affronted and rude, because I'm black. And the fact that the teenagers get around in expensive clothes but spend most of their time in parks smoking and drinking and their parents don't seem to care at all.

What was the most interesting thing you heard about Estonia or Estonians before you came here which turned out to be a myth?
I hadn't really heard anything about the country or the people. I asked some Brazilians who knew a bit about it, and they said everything was OK, but when I got here I felt quite uncomfortable. I expected more from a European country. I'm from a Third World nation, so I was shocked when I saw that in some areas Europeans can be just as bad off or even worse off than we are.

How would you describe Estonians?
Cold and closed. Polite to the point of being impolite. They're easily intimidated and vulnerable and probably because of it paranoid about their privacy.

Estonian men consider Estonian women to be the most beautiful in the world. What do you think?
I guess Estonian men don't travel much. Men everywhere say the women in their country are the most beautiful. Some of these ideas cross borders, but before I came here I'd never heard that Estonian women were meant to be the best-looking in the world.

Estonian men often come across as male chauvinist pigs. Would you agree?
Perhaps that's why more and more Estonian women are marrying foreigners, at least statistically. Estonian men ought to think more about the way they behave towards women.

http://www.postimees.ee/230208/lisad/arter/313412.php?kas-valismaalased-armastavad-meid

Congratulations and jubilations

2008-02-23T15:47:00.002+02:00

A blot on your escutcheon!

2008-02-22T15:30:00.005+02:00

Outgoing Chancellor for Justice Allar Jõks has taken a swipe at the Riigikogu for sitting on their hands in regard to his proposal to remove all members of parliament from the boards of companies which the state has a financial interest in. It is not known whether their thumb twiddling has anything to do with the fact that many of them hold plum positions on the supervisory boards of many of the biggest corporations in Estonia.

"Just days before the 90th anniversary of our independence it is pathetic to see the political culture of our nation and its respect for the constitution reduced to the level of a spotty teenager," Jõks said, with a little embellishment from yours truly. "The fact that the majority of our parliamentarians continue to support a situation that flies in the face of the constitution is like them attending the Independence Day reception with a glaring great stain on their lapel."

http://www.postimees.ee/220208/esileht/siseuudised/313495.php

Doing it for Estonia

2008-02-21T20:53:00.004+02:00

Olympic decathlon hope Kristjan Rahnu has been arrested on suspicion of running a whorehouse.

We won't go into details here, because we don't know any, and we would never stoop to making tabloid generalisations and assumptions. Here at Positively Transforming: Estonia we work on the principle of innocent until proven guilty, which is clearly something we share in common with former Olympic gold medallist Erki Nool and Minister for Justice Rein "Proud to be Bull-Headed" Lang, who have come out in defence of the athlete, and not with the Estonian Olympic Committee, who have removed Rahnu from the list of potential athletes for the Bird's Nest.

Whether or not any guilt is attributed to Rahnu - in the event of which he may face up to 12 years in prison - we couldn't think of a better story to attach a tagline to a la "you can take the boy out of Estonia, but you can't take Estonia out of the boy". We wish him well in his name-clearing endeavours (starting Monday) and look forward to cheering him on to a probably middling result in Beijing.

I want my independence

2008-02-21T20:10:00.005+02:00

After topping charts by being the first country to recognise the independence of Montenegro, Estonia has plummeted to somewhere only just inside the top ten with its rubber-stamped recognition today of the newborn Republic of Kosovo.

Commenting on this historic decision, Foreign Minister Urmas Paet gushed about the importance of the western Balkans in the security policy of the European Union, applauded the leaders of the breakaway region for upholding the Ahtisaari plan and writing the protection of minorities (i.e. the Serbs) and their cultural heritage into their declaration of independence, and promised that Estonia would play its role in any civic mission to the country.

What Paet failed to mention was the terrible repercussions recognising Kosovo's independence may bring for Estonia. Let's look at the most serious of these: the reception the Estonian entry is likely to receive at the Eurovision Song Contest in Belgrade in May. As if the situation wasn't desperate enough with the fan maffia in the front row promising to boo the 'joke entry' out of contention, Kreisiraadio will now have to face the wrath of the rest of the audience plus a hostile Serb media.

If only our politicians took in the bigger picture before making such rash decisions.

PS What are we thinking of the flag? It's all a bit too Bosnia for my liking.

Moving experience

2008-02-21T19:51:00.005+02:00

Remember this? I used to live somewhere that looked a bit like it.

I don't live there any more. I live somewhere that looks like this.

It's on Town Hall Square. For those of you who don't know Tallinn all that well, it is the central square in the Old Town. As addresses go, it is rather glamorous. And as we all know these days, if your life in Tallinn isn't glamorous, it is, quite literally, N O T H I N G.

You too can be share in this glamorous lifestyle by viewing the pictures we've taken of the place at http://www.gamelink.planet.ee/. Don't say I'm not generous.

Public service announcement

2008-02-17T21:49:00.006+02:00

January has become February and we're not that far off March, but needless to say I haven't gotten around to blogging again. Partly because I've been spending the last month moving; partly I've been very busy at work; and partly I couldn't be arsed. However, I may yet, given the overwhelming support of all these anonymous readers. (Why don't you have names?)

Take a break, pack your things, walk away

2007-12-20T15:03:00.000+02:00

If anyone was wondering - indeed, if anybody is still reading this blog apart from me - the relative dearth of posts in the run-up to the festive season is due to the fact that I am very busy getting things done before I go back to Australia for Christmas and New Year. That nothing much is happening that's worth reporting on is another factor, too. In any case, normal service is likely to resume in January. Häid jõule ja head uut aastat!

Can you even feel your heartbeat in this senseless city, babe?

2007-12-10T15:54:00.000+02:00

In news everyone needed to know, SL Õhtuleht reports that pop tart Charlene has been telling celebrity trash mag Just! that she is so obsessed by high heels that she is never without a pair of stilettos, even at home.

"I know it's not normal, but the first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is slip on a pair of stilettos with 10 cm heels and straight away I feel fantastic," revealed the one-time Eurolaul singer, in an article charmingly titled MTV reporter wears fuck-me heels around the house. "People have even said to me I don't know how to walk in anything less!"

Underscoring the wild side of the starlet's nature, and her love of 'extreme experiences', the piece - whose accompanying photo reveals she has as much fashion sense as ever - goes on to talk about Charlene's adventures in the Far East, where she once let an elephant sit on her. "Oh, that was cool! Such an amazing massage. And I didn't break a single rib!"

To witness one of Charlene's (and the nation's) most extreme experiences - her two minutes and fifty-eight seconds of fame during the 2004 national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest - visit https://www.etvpluss.ee/saated.aspx?id=791. Mind, you'll have to pay 6 kroons for the privilege.

Revolting

2007-12-10T13:36:00.000+02:00

Edgar Savisaar is to face a mass demonstration outside City Hall on Friday in protest at his proposed 150% hike on land tax. Which is not to say he will address them, but rather that if he happens to be there and looks out the window, he'll see a rather large crowd of people calling for his resignation.

Gunnar Stahl, the organiser of the rally, has been behind a letter-box drop urging residents of Tallinn to rise up against their mayor, albeit in a very calm and dignified way in which their displeasure is expressed through their presence and their placards - which are sure to reflect the general opinion that the plan stinks more than the city's sewers, which any revenue generated through the rate rise would be designed to improve.

Though espousing a peaceful protest, Stahl is using fighting words. "Our demonstration will go ahead as scheduled unless Savisaar scraps the plan by 13 December at the latest - and apologises to the nation on the 9 o'clock news that night for the mistakes he has made!" Here here.

She works hard for the money

2007-12-10T13:10:00.000+02:00

In yet another Eurostat report, Estonia has ended up on the podium once again - albeit this time for a good reason. It has taken the bronze in the race to see which member state employs the most women.

Only beaten to the top spot by Sweden and Slovenia, Estonia registered unemployment among 'working-age' women (aged 25-54 for the purposes of this survey) in 2006 of just 14.3%, almost 10% lower than the EU average. The country scored even better in the 55-64 range, coming second.

Unfortunately, on the back of this good-for-equal-opportunities news comes the revelation in a different report of the stark contrast that remains between the amount women in Estonia are paid for what they do and the amount men are paid for doing the same thing: on average, female workers receive 28% less.

Add to this the findings of another report again (this one from Eurofound) that simply working in Estonia doubles your risk of occupational health problems compared to other EU countries and perhaps the country doesn't have all that much to crow about: they might have more than the average number of women in work, but they are likely to receive a third less pay for what they do than the men folk and twice as likely to do themselves an injury in the process.

Borderline

2007-12-07T15:30:00.001+02:00

Latvian president Valdis Zatlers and Estonian president Toomas Hendrik Ilves will come together to mark the two countries' accession to the Schengen zone on 21 December at the Valga/Valka border crossing, where they will perform the ceremonial removal of the barrier dividing the two cities and countries.

"Taking into account the shared history of our cities (dating back 720 years - Ed.) and the partnership we share today, removing the physical barrier between them bears enormous significance for the future," said Valga mayor Ivar Unt. "With the border gone, the opportunities for our two countries to interact and work together will be even greater."

Alo vanishing on 21 December will be surly border guards in their boxes at Terminals A through D in the Port of Tallinn for ferries leaving for and arriving from Finland and Sweden (and any other Schengen countries, which in this case is to say Germany). Perhaps they'll all be packed off to the eastern front, where border crossings with Russia are, conversely, to be reinforced.

The Estonian jet-set will have to exercise a little more patience, however, as Schengen passport-free fun times for all at Tallinn (and, er, Kuressaare) Airport are not scheduled to be introduced until March - giving new members much needed extra time to complete the required terminal renovations.

Depressing realisation

2007-12-06T15:43:00.000+02:00

SL Õhtuleht today has an interview with Finnish historian Martti Turtola, who claims that the view of Estonia as poor cousin in his country has disappeared almost entirely without trace.

"There may well have been people who looked down their noses at Estonia before, after the collapse of the Soviet Union, but not any more. It has come on so rapidly that everyone ought to be green with envy."

The historian says that the Finns have in fact learnt a thing or two from their southern neighbours. "Mostly to do with their lifestyle," he explains. "Finns are a very serious bunch. I lived in Estonia for four years and I realised that while our histories are similar, for some reason Estonians are much happier."

If that's the case, what does it say about Finns?

http://www.sloleht.ee/index.aspx?id=257431

Who's stitching up who?

2007-12-04T18:37:00.000+02:00

The Northern Estonian Regional Hospital has complained to Eesti Päevaleht Online that the foreigners who scarper before paying for the medical services they have to keep giving them are causing them headaches of their own.

“The problem with Johnny Foreigner,” says hospital board member Eve Karmo, “is that he's generally shipped to our door by ambulance with nothing on him to tell us who he is and in no fit state to tell us himself.”

Karmo singles out a very particular kind of foreigner as being of the troublesome variety: “These English lads who come here, waste all of their money on goodness knows what kind of 'entertainment', fall arse over tit and get sent to us. We stitch them up, they disappear and the only thing we can put on the unpaid bill is 'foreigner', or at best 'British citizen'.”

Karmo says that even if they do manage to make out a name, very few visitors from abroad who are brought to the hospital have their EU health insurance card on them or anything else indicating that they are insured, assuming they are in the first place. In the case of the other major problem group for the hospital - Estonia's eastern neighbours - they are unlikely to have any, as they are often paid in brown paper envelopes.

While praising embassies for the help they provide in identifying these shameless stealers of health services, Karmo would much rather the assistance wasn't required in the first place. She advises all Estonian travellers (presumably including those planning on spending all of their time getting pissed and ending up in hospital) to stock up on health insurance whenever they go abroad, even if it is within the EU.

“Your health insurance card will cover first aid, but not much else. If you're halfway up a mountain skiing somewhere and take a tumble and have to be airlifted to Estonia flat on your back, things could get quite expensive.”

http://www.epl.ee/artikkel/410335

Please note: translations of direct quotes in this article may be slightly more colourful than the originals.

Haute cuisine

2007-12-04T16:26:00.000+02:00

A survey ordered by the Ministry of Agriculture has revealed that the two things tourists associate most closely with Estonian cuisine are meat and beer.

The survey showed that tourists remain pleasantly surprised by their encounters with the nation's food and drink, describing it as "good, tasty and fresh". Daytrippers and weekend getaway visitors are also better informed than they have ever been about - and increasingly interested in - the country's national dishes.

When asked to nominate what they thought most characteristics of Estonian dinner tables, 46% of tourists nominated meat, 22% said fish, and 10% each posited potatoes, cakes and the like (including "it's not cheesecake but we'll call it that anyway" kohupiimakook) and cabbage. Beer was most frequently seen to be the national drink, with the full list almost entirely comprising different types of alcohol.

Many tourists expressed disappointment that traditional Estonian food was so hard to come by on their visits, highlighting the small number of restaurants that offer it. When they found them, though, they clearly spent big: an average of 1457 kroons per person per day on food and drink, almost twice the amount spent in 2006. Mind you, this figure also included money spent on stuff they were able to take home with them as comestible souvenirs; chocolate proved most popular, although one in five also stuck some black bread in their suitcases.

The other four clearly already had them stuffed full of Viru Vodka and Gin Long Drink.

Don't talk to strangers

2007-12-04T15:55:00.000+02:00

Postimees has reported on the results of a recent Eurobarometer study which reveal that Estonians are the most parcohial in the European Union when it comes to mixing with people of other nationalities or religions.

Those surveyed were asked whether they had had any contact in the preceding seven days with anyone of a different nationality or religion, from another EU member state or from a country outside of the EU. Out of the 27 countries covered by the study, Estonia scored lowest, with just 43% saying they had.

On the plus side, and bolstering its reputation as 'E-stonia', the country topped the list of the EU 27 for contact made with foreigners via the Internet. Of course, this could also be seen as a bit of an indictment in the sense of Estonians requiring the "look but don't touch" safety of a computer screen for them to make contact in the first place.

Coming full circle, Estonia again came bottom of the pile in another aspect of the survey: designed to gauge how clued-up Europe's citizens are ahead of 2008, the EU's Year of Intercultural Dialogue, it showed that Estonians were one of only two groups in the union to the majority of whom the term 'intercultural dialogue' meant nothing at all.

Perhaps the extra attention that is paid to such issues as migration, minorities and multilingualism in the new year will see them fare a little better in time for Tallinn's adoption of the European Capital of Culture title in 2011.

http://www.postimees.ee/041207/lisad/euro/299510.php?eesti-inimesed-on-elis-teiste-rahvuste-suhtes-koige-pelglikumad

A ladybird never changes its spots

2007-12-04T15:25:00.000+02:00

National mobile operator EMT has dropped plans to change from a second-based to a minute-based rate on calls following a media backlash and word of their biggest corporate clients - their core market as things stand these days, in terms of profit - deserting them in droves.

The plan was announced in an understandably not very high profile way with the promise that since the average phone call in the EMT network lasts 58 seconds, the changes would mean very little to the purse strings of Joe Blogs. This little subterfuge backfired on the company though when journalists began filling column inches with their own calculations based on old bills - revealing that Joe Blogs would in fact end up paying upwards of 50% more every month for the same amount (or fewer) calls.

Its unpopularity compounded by big business threatening to walk over the issue, the plan was sunk, and EMT today announced that they had scrapped it. "We listened to what our clients had to say and came to the conclusion that the market is not ready to move on from second-based call rates," said the company's chairman, who thanked EMT's customer's for their [vocal] feedback.

However, the company has not ruled out introducing the system in future, and will be ushering it in through the back door from the 1st of January with competitively priced packages operating on the minute-based system. An anonymous editorial in Postimees today views the inflated costs that such a system would bring with it as inevitable, pointing out that EMT and other operators have reached a point where the market is so saturated with low-priced deals that they will have no choice but to start charging more.

There are 116 active SIM cards in Estonia per 100 people.

Movie magic comes to town!

2007-12-02T20:31:00.001+02:00

It was announced at the European Film Awards in Berlin last night that Tallinn has been given the honour of hosting the event in 2010. The city's hotels and night spots will undoubetedly ooze with glitz the likes of which they have never seen before as the cream of European cinema descends upon them in their thousands. The grey of early December will never have seemed so colourful. Etcetera.

PÖFF director and European Film Academy member Tiina Lokk says that winning the right to host the awards is fantastic news. "The event will give Estonia's film lovers the chance to get up close and personal with the film stars of Europe and will bring with it all the glamour of such a gala," she said, or words to that effect, tapping into one of the most virulent commercial obsessions in the country at the moment. (Absolutely everything is 'glamorous'.)

On the practical side, the 'European Oscars' are sure to attract a great number of influential people from the industry to Tallinn as well as hundreds of international press, which if nothing else will see the city and country mentioned in the media for something other than its alcohol and health problems and strained relations with Russia for a change. The awards are also broadcast in more than 60 countries, which will presumably raise Estonia's profile in a way that hasn't been seen since it hosted the Eurovision Song Contest in 2002.

The organising committee will undoubtedly be keen to 'exchange experiences' - which they bang on about here all the time - with 2006 and 2008 hosts Warsaw and Copenhagen in order to make the most of the chance being the organisers of the away game offers them (Berlin hosts the event every other year). Given that it will take place less than a month before Tallinn adopts the title of European Capital of Culture, it is, I suppose, rather a big deal.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I guess I should give myself a pat on the back for the fact that Tallinn was successful in its bid: it was yours truly who translated the "please pick us for the following reasons" letters sent to the European Film Academy by City Hall and whoever else. Maybe they'll give me a free pass to the gala ceremony?

Smart [cl]asses

2007-11-30T23:14:00.000+02:00

A three-year OECD study has revealed that Estonia teenagers are the fifth smartest bunch of kids in the world.

According to Postimees, the results of the international PISA test, carried out among 15 year olds in 57 countries, show that the knowledge and skills of Year 9 students from Estonia outclassed those of all of their peers bar those from Finland, Hong Kong, Canada and Taiwan, and equalling those of Japan. Fellow neighbours Sweden, Latvia and Russia languished outside of the top twenty.

"To paraphrase the prime minister, we've become one of the top five best educated countries in the world, and that's something we should be proud of," said Minister for Education Tõnis Lukas, referring to Andrus Ansip's election pledge to see Estonia as one of the five richest countries in Europe within 15 years. "It's arguably much more important than being one of the world's five wealthiest nations," he added.

http://www.postimees.ee/301107/esileht/siseuudised/298749.php

Things just got a hole lot better

2007-11-30T21:59:00.000+02:00

In a series of moves indicative of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing, City Hall has announced that just about every tax and fee imaginable in the city is set to skyrocket in the new year.

The Centre Party-dominated city government (or council, whichever one it is that makes these decisions), led by their supremo, mayor Edgar Savisaar, first revealed that land tax in the city would more than double from the 1st of January. This discouraging move would be in line with their vision of having everyone relocate to the city centre from the outskirts if it weren't for the fact that they're also putting up downtown parking fees. Shooting up by as much as 50% in the Old Town, the new prices - in the rest of the city at least - have been defended by Vice Mayor Jaanus Mutli as 'still being cheaper than in Helsinki'.

This in turn could be in line with City Hall's policy on roadworks: the 2008 budget has seen spending on the city's pot-holes-and-no-gutters infrastructure slashed. Perhaps the idea is that if people are stubborn enough to live on their own property in the suburbs and still drive into the city, they will have to put up with bad roads and high parking prices when they get there.

On the other hand, if they idea is to clear the roads of cars and get people onto public transport (which will still be travelling on the terrible roads they won't be spending nearly as much money on) it seems strange that the other major announcement was that ticket prices for buses, trams and trolleybuses would also be going up (yet again) in 2008, by as much as 20%.

Never missing an opportunity to pass the buck and/or take a swipe at the government, our Jaanus explained this away as being the result of rising fuel prices and the state's decision to increase excise duties. He also added that drivers are demanding pay rises and that the city has to fund the purchase of new vehicles without any of the help that other towns and counties receive from the central government.

However, in news that would have brought sweet relief to about three people in the country, Mutli revealed that the list of people who can travel on public transport for free will be expanded from New Year's Day - to include those Estonians who were involved in the clean-up operations following the Chernobyl disaster. Won't they be sitting pretty... providing they're in good health, living in the city centre, don't own their own property and don't have a car they need to park on the street.

No more art for you

2007-11-30T21:26:00.000+02:00

The Ministry of Education has announced that it will be discontinuing the project developed by former minister Mailis Reps which would have seen every Year 7, 8 and 9 student in every school in Estonia sent on all-expenses paid excursions to the Hermitage in St Petersburg and the Louvre in Paris out of taxpayers' pockets to get a closer look at the works of art they would only ever otherwise have seen in their textbooks and probably weren't interested in anyway.

A lucky 14 busloads of students and teachers managed to make it to Russia's greatest gallery on field trips costing the state (and by extension you and me our share of) 85,000 kroons each before the ministry decided to axe the programme on the grounds that continuing it would be a waste of money and serve very little point.

Devastated 13, 14 and 15 year olds up and down the country will have to content themselves with Estonia's premier art gallery, Kumu, even if they (or their parents) do have to shoulder the cost of admission. Luckily for them, it's fabulous.

Tongue-tied

2007-11-30T20:41:00.000+02:00

A German guy called Berthold Forssman has had an essay published on Delfi debunking the myth that Estonian is a difficult language to learn.

After waffling on a bit - recounting situations I have found myself in, highlighting some of the trickier areas of grammar and vocabulary and, not unfoundedly, accusing the Estonians themselves of being part of the problem in how they deal with foreigners trying to speak their language - he makes this pertinent [paraphrased] point:

What is the use in promoting your own language as being horrendously difficult? Estonians are proud of their language and love it, and this has kept them from dying out and helped to maintain the independence of their country. I'm as happy about this as they are. But overegg the mystification and, to others, the language becomes completely intangible and unattainable, sapping them of any motivation to learn it.

The way I see it, there are no such things as 'easy' and 'difficult' languages. Learning a language is always hard work, and when you're starting out, some simply seem harder to get a handle on. That's where motivation is so important, and it's something everyone has to find within themselves. So if someone was to ask me today whether Estonian is really as difficult as it is made out to be, I'd say: "No - what's difficult are the conditions we have to learn Estonian in."

Ironically, the article is concluded with the mysterious abbreviation "Tlk V. K." - referring to the fact, I assume, that the language still presents enough difficulties for Berthold that he had to have it translated into Estonian for publication. Pointing this out would be churlish of me if I didn't know quite so well how he feels.

http://www.delfi.ee/news/paevauudised/arvamus/article.php?id=17561801

Value for Money 2: How to Win Friends and Influence People

2007-11-30T20:16:00.000+02:00

In the aftermath (for want of a less melodramatic term) of the rush on euros for fear of a devaluation of the kroon, Minister for Justice Rein Lang has been doing his best to win round the Russian-speaking population almost exclusively affected by the scam and who already feel a sense of injustice at the treatment they receive from the government.

"If people are stupid enough to fall for [such things], I don't see how it's the government's fault," he said at a press conference yesterday. "The very purposefully directed misinformation that has been spread about in recent months in Russian-language publications in Estonia is a big problem. It incites hostility. I hope the state security services are looking into it."

So speaks a man so sensible and tactful that he chose a Hitler/Nazi theme for his 50th birthday party and contributed to the recent celebrations marking the anniversary of the Estonian constitution by suggesting that a new beer should be named in its honour. ("It will make people more interested in it," he said.)

A clear case of plagiarism

2007-11-30T19:32:00.000+02:00

In an article entitled Scots Copying Estonians? Delfi reports on a Times of London report that the Scottish government has spent six months and hundreds of thousands of pounds coming up with its new national tourism slogan... 'Welcome to Scotland'.

Clearly in a move to distinguish the Scottish version from its Estonian forerunner, the placards bearing the slogan also feature it in the local lingo - “Fàilte gu Alba” - which is something Estonia's can't be accused of. However, in an eerily familiar and yet ironic criticism of the new campaign (considering who it's coming from), the designer of the logo for the 2012 London Olympics has said that it lacks emotion and feels “governmental, corporate and static”.

You be the judge.

Value for money

2007-11-27T15:40:00.000+02:00

Foreign exchanges the breadth of Estonia, if not the length, have seen a rush on euros as the Russian-speaking population trip over one another in their hurry to offload their Estonian kroons in response to false reports that the currency was set to be devalued.

The reports - which stated that the Bank of Estonia and the Monetary Committee had agreed upon an imminent and unannounced devaluation of the kroon from its current rate of 15.6 to the euro to 24.6 to the euro - first appeared on the website of the Night Watch (an allegedly Russian-backed group linked to the rioting and looting that took place in Tallinn in April) and quickly did the rounds among the Russian-speaking communities of Tallinn and north-eastern Estonia. As a result, foreign exchanges saw queues of people cashing in their life savings for euros, pounds and any other 'dependable' currency they could get their hands on.

The Bank of Estonia has quashed all suggestions of devaluation, and the police have said they may launch an official investigation into the incident, which is being viewed as yet another attempt [by Russia] to destabilise the country.

Shake it

2007-11-27T14:19:00.000+02:00

Bringing together two of the locals' favourite pastimes - drinking and gambling - Estonia and Olympic Casino have claimed top spot at the World Bartending Championships in Taiwan. Krista Meri out-cocktailed competitors from Italy and Latvia, producing a superlative Gold Autumn to be crowned the world's best bartender. Congratulations! Yet another alcohol-related titled Estonia can add to its tally.

Wheeling and dealing

2007-11-26T09:39:00.000+02:00

ETV's Sunday night current affairs programme Aeg Luubis has reported on the results of a sociological survey asking respondents which politicians, if any, they would trust enough to buy a used car from.

The short answer is that most people wouldn't trust any of them. The clear favourite among Russian-speaking Estonians was Centre Party leader Edgar Savisaar (surprise!), while least favoured of all recipients was former People's Union leader and Minister of the Environment Villu Reiljan - people presumably worried that if they bought something from him it would become embroiled in a dodgy swap scandal. Most trustworthy of the bunch overall was deemed to be president Toomas Hendrik Ilves, although the same number who said they would buy an old jalopy from him also said they didn't know how to respond to the question.

And arguably rightly so: it's a daft one and entirely moot. Sociologists claim that the results of the survey reveal interesting things about the mindset of people towards politicians these days: for example, that support for certain parties may be high, but not for their leaders (prime minister Andrus Ansip being a prime example); and that generally the trend is to favour politic[ian]s that follow a social-democratic line. But since this isn't really reflected in how people vote - Ansip received the greatest number of single votes in electoral history at the last parliamentary elections, while the Social Democrats failed to make much of a mark at all (sadly) - I fail to see the relevance myself.

The only substantive point the survey makes is that Russian speakers will support Edgar Savisaar and Keskerakond whatever it is that's being peddled, and we knew that already.

http://www.etv24.ee/index.php?0597355

Christmas comes to Tallinn

2007-11-22T19:51:00.000+02:00

Putting the jõu back into jõulud, next Monday will see the erection on Town Hall Square of Tallinn's premier Christmas tree. At a neck-craning 20 metres tall, this year's tree is being trucked in from the 'Kadrina commune' (as they refer to themselves on the English version of their website: http://www.kadrina.ee/atp/?id=799) in Lääne-Viru county. For those interested in following its progress, here is a timeline of events:

- Monday 26/11/07

*08.00: Felling of the tree to commence in Ülo Kais' garden in Kadrina.

*11.00: Cavalcade to set off for Tallinn.

*13.00-14.00: Tree to arrive at Town Hall Square and erection to commence.

- Wednesday 28/11/07

*Decoration of tree with lights to be completed.

- Sunday 02/12/07

*14.00: Lights to be switched on and advent candles to be lit.

The Kadrina tree was selected to represent the city from among ten entries received in a public competition. The tree alone set City Hall (or whoever paid for it) back 14,160 kroons, while transport, installation and decoration work will cost a further 53,100 kroons and eventual disassembly and chopping up for fire wood or whatever another 33,040 kroons. Total: 100,300 kroons.

And it will be worth every cent. There's something truly magical about wandering around the stalls of the Christmas market on Town Hall Square amid the falling snow with the tree all lit up and the smell of mulled wine and gingerbread in the air. Much as I love our traditional lazy poolside Boxing Days of cold champagne and turkey sandwiches in Australia, nowhere does Christmas quite like northern Europe.

Seal of disapproval

2007-11-22T19:11:00.000+02:00

Hülged ahju! In an article on Delfi today entitled Estonia's seals are disloyal to their country it has been revealed that the nation's favourite frollicking sea creatures show absolutely no fidelity to their fatherland.

Studies of six tagged grey seals sighted in Estonian waters off the coast of Saaremaa have shown that the great distances the animals can cover in a day means they're anyone's. Researchers have tracked their movements from Latvia to Finland and back again, taking in the Åland Islands and the Swedish outpost of Gotland on the way.

“The fact that they put themselves about a bit we've known for a long time, but not where exactly and how regularly,” explained researcher Ivar Jüssi, confirming that the brazen creatures recognise no borders. “There's no such thing as 'our' seals or Finnish seals or Swedish seals. There's just the Baltic Sea and the seals that live in it. It could even be the case that the ones we managed to stick receivers on were in our waters by pure chance.”

That the seals show no particular allegiance to Estonia is obvious to researchers from the fact that five of the six they are studying have rarely been seen again hereabouts since they were tagged. Just one, an elderly female, remains true to the country - most likely, the scientists say, because she has formed something of an attachment to her breeding grounds, which is characteristic of all grey seals. Random as the choice is.

http://www.delfi.ee/news/paevauudised/eesti/article.php?id=17505066

A man with a vision

2007-11-20T10:53:00.000+02:00

Tallinn City Council Chairman Toomas Vitsut has proposed that English be adopted as the second official language of the City of Tallinn.

In widely reported news on yesterday's 'vision conference', featuring a star-studded array of the capital's mayors past and present, Vitsut is quoted as suggesting that adopting English as an official language in municipal authorities would make the city more attractive to foreign companies, thus cushioning the impact when the currently super-inflated economic bubble bursts and filling in the gaps left by Russian firms who packed their bags after the unrest that shook the city earlier this year.

None of the other presenters had anything much to say about Vitsut's idea, as they were too busy banging heads with their own. There were conflicting views about the future of the city, with some saying that Tallinn should spread out even further in a wave of [sub]urbanisation, while others felt that the population should be encouraged to move downtown en masse, with the inner city becoming a jungle of concrete, glass and steel - the idea behind this being that it would improve the dire traffic situation in the capital.

Former mayor Ivi Eenmaa put in her own two cents' worth, stating that more needs to be done to improve Tallinn and Estonia's position within Europe lest they become provincialised and pigeon-holed. She pointed out the results of a recent study, which showed that in none of the stories about Tallinn in the foreign press of late has the city been painted in a good light.

Whether or not presenting such conferences in English - as presumably they would if it were adopted as an official language of the city - would help put Tallinn in the headlines for the right reasons is another matter. Have you heard the likes of Edgar Savisaar and Kaia Jäppinen delivering speeches in English?

Towering inferno

2007-11-20T10:27:00.000+02:00

Tallinn's television tower, home to the tallest viewing platform of its kind anywhere in the Nordic countries, is to close its doors to the public this Monday for good*.

The teletorn, as it is known locally, no longer meets the stringent safety requirements that would see it not going up in smoke and frying tourists left, right and centre in the event of a major fire. The one and only emergency exit route - a staircase a whole 66 centimetres wide - just doesn't cut the mustard.

All is not lost, however, as the company charged with the responsibility of looking after the tower are busy looking for ways to open it again as soon as possible. This would require a major facelift (which it needs; have you seen inside the thing? It's as daggy as all get out) costing a lot of money no one has and taking a lot of time. City Hall have expressed their sincerest condolences on its passing, while at the same time pointing out that they are in no position to help.

*Nevertheless, there is hope that with the good will of all involved and the deep pockets of yet-to-be-found financiers, people may soon once again be up on the platform squinting out across the gulf in search of Finland. (I've only ever seen it once.) There is a great affection for the thing and it is, after all, one of the city's true landmarks and tourist drawcards.

Good with their hands

2007-11-13T15:04:00.000+02:00

I forgot to mention that I spent a mad time running round Mardilaat or the St Martin's Day Fair at Saku Suurhall on Sunday. Considering it ran for four days, I thought one hour before the whole thing closed would be a good time to start doing my Christmas shopping there.

For those not in the know, Mardilaat is an annual handicrafts fair that brings people from far and wide throughout the country to Tallinn to show off their wares. Needless to say what I saw cemented my respect for Estonian handicraft skills and tradition - the stuff they do with fabric and glass being particularly impressive - and I even managed to pick up some unique and yet actually still useful Xmas presents.

Since it's over for another year it's a bit late to recommend you go and see what it's about, but I wouldn't hesitate to otherwise. Not only do you get to admire (and indeed buy) the handiwork of a lot of talented people, but you also get more of a feeling for the country and its culture. Plus you get to try free samples of stuff like smoked elk and wild boar sausage. And what else do you need on a cold, grey November afternoon?

Putting the 'tour' back in 'tourism'

2007-11-13T13:52:00.000+02:00

Postimees has reported the results of the Country Brand Index 2007, unveiled yesterday at the opening ceremony of the World Travel Market in London, the world's biggest travel trade fair. Taking top place once again as the most popular destination among tourists and travel professionals was Australia. Estonia failed to make the grade in any of the Index's 22 categories.

This is perhaps not very surprising for a country whose tourist industry, such as it is, is geared almost exclusively towards Tallinn's Old Town and omnipresent spa services. Considering the great majority of tourists to the country though are here for a day or two at best (as well as how beautiful the Old Town is), this is perhaps the way it should be.

Of course, the argument works the other way: if there were well-established, wide-ranging tourist services that gave visitors the opportunity to see more of the country - and let's face it, nowhere is more than a daytrip away - they might just stay longer, with their experience of Estonia not limited to a stroll on Town Hall Square, a meal at Olde Hansa and a quick facial.

To any budding entrepreneurs out there thinking of coming to Estonia and wondering what kind of business might be worth starting: there is a gaping hole in the market here for organised tours, and so much more to show people in Estonia than 99% of them ever see.

http://www.countrybrandindex.com/

Less a rant, more a matter of principle

2007-11-09T18:24:00.000+02:00

It's funny how many people in Estonia seem to think they know more about my mother tongue than I do. It's something I first noticed with intractable students arguing the toss about matters in which they had absolutely no ground to stand on, but which has become much more marked since I took up translating full-time two and a half years ago. I had yet another run-in with self-styled 'English experts' yesterday.

At the risk of sounding as conceited as the people I am complaining about, let me just tell all these 'experts' something: as a native speaker of English, former teacher, occasional author, long-time proofreader and editor and full-time translator, I do in fact know more than them about my mother tongue. And it's not even the ones who require specific (technical/medical/scientific/legal et al) terminology who are the whingers and know-it-alls; they're usually the most amenable. It's people who say "oh, I would translate it myself, but I just don't have time". It's people who think that studying English philology for a few years means they know the language as if it were their own. It's people who try to pass off their impoverished writing skills as the fault of the translator. And so on.

If you give me a text specifically because you feel it requires the skills a native speaker translator can bring to it - one who understands Estonian well enough to be able to work in all of the nuances - and then take the finished article - which has been translated, proofread, edited and reviewed - and decide you know better, introducing 'improvements' that in fact constitute blatant errors of grammar, word choice, sentence structure and punctuation, why bother to come to me in the first place?

Of course, the text is yours to do with as you please. But the service I provide is a professional one like any other; you wouldn't undergo brain surgery and then come home and start fiddling with it yourself, would you, even if you were in your final year of medicine. Why should the principle be any different when it comes to translation?

It'll all come out in the wash

2007-11-07T17:42:00.000+02:00

Interior Minister Jüri Pihl as quoted in Delfi reporting on Postimees reporting on Võsa Reporter reporting on a story that emerged this week about new Estonian passports being made from leftovers from Cameroon and potentially unravelling under the wrong conditions:

"I am of the belief that an Estonian citizen's passport is one of the most important travel documents, and indeed one of the most important documents, that connects us with being Estonian and citizens of Estonia, and it is for this reason that I advise all of you here [in the parliament - Ed.] and everyone else: do not put them in the washing machine."

Pain in the arse

2007-11-07T16:10:00.000+02:00

Probing the deepest recesses of male health, Estonian men are being invited to take part in a pilot project of screening tests for prostate cancer.

The project is the first of its kind in the country, with such tests to date having been aimed exclusively at women to combat breast and cervical cancer. However, the prostate has now overtaken the lungs in the race to claim the number one cancer title in men in Estonia, as is the case elsewhere in Europe, and medical professionals are pushing early diagnosis and prevention - because unlike the rest of Europe, Estonia holds a dubious record when it comes to the disease.

“Estonia has the highest rate of deaths from prostate cancer of any country in the world,” revealed men's doctor Margus Punab. “Those who are being diagnosed are being diagnosed too late.” Punab says that a diagnosis must be made within ten years of the cancer developing to ensure the possibility of successful treatment.

Punab says that unlike in countries such as the United States where screening programmes are in place and as little as 1% of men are diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer, 99% of whom in turn beat the disease, the figures in Estonia remain unnecessarily high (and low, as applicable). He calls on men the length and breadth of the country to get tested.

Mati Kuusemäe from the University of Tartu Hospital's men's clinic advocates screening for older men in particular. He says the while the clinic is mostly approached by men between 25 and 30 with prostate infections, its doctors are inviting older men to take part in the project as around 80% of 80-year-old men typically suffer from prostate cancer.

“The average Estonian male simply won't go to see his doctor,” Kuusemäe said. “He just tells himself that the pain will go away. But all men should be paying us a visit. Get over the idea that it's something to be ashamed of!”

That, however, may be easier said than done. A vox populi conducted by Eesti Päevaleht revealed that even those men in the high risk group who have experienced other serious illnesses are unlikely to heed the doctors' calls.

“Nothing wrong with my health,” said Väino, 74. “I had a heart attack, and an operation, but I get by, and what else can you do. I go to the doctor twice and a year and he checks my heart, but it's not like I have anything else wrong with me.” When asked whether he would take part in the prostate cancer screening pilot programme, Väino said: “I shouldn't think so. I doubt I've got anything like that. Everything seems to be working alright, what's down there.”

http://www.epl.ee/artikkel/406873

Predsjednik Mesić u Estoniji

2007-11-06T22:16:00.000+02:00

Utorak, 06.11.2007., 06:00

ZAGREB/TALLIN - Predsjednik Stipe Mesić putuje u službeni dvodnevni posjet Estoniji gdje će ga primiti njegov kolega, estonski predsjednik Toomas Hendrik Ilves.

Or in other words, Croatian president Stjepan Mesić has been in Estonia on an official visit to fellow president Toomas Hendrik Ilves, as reported in today's Postimees Online.

The Estonian president praised his counterpart on Croatia's stability, openness, democracy and rapid development as it heads towards membership of NATO and the European Union, declaring it a role model for the rest of the Balkans.

Mesić then met with Estonian prime minister Andrus Ansip, who reiterated the country's support for Croatia's bid to join the EU and NATO, describing the steps the former Yugoslav state has taken towards membership as greatly impressive.

Following up on comments from Ilves, Ansip then addressed what Croatia truly represents to the man in the street in Tallinn: a cheap[ish] option for summer holidays. "It's an attractive tourist destination for us Estonians," he said, encouraging closer economic ties between the two countries, and turning both of the stories reporting Mesić's visit into free ads for Estonian Air flights to Dubrovnik.

And why not? It's bloody beautiful. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it. Apparently there are quite a few more Croatians making the trip to Estonia too nowadays. Coming from a country that statistically enjoys the most sunshine in the Adriatic or Mediterranean or wherever, Estonia must be popular among those in search of danker, greyer climes.

Eggstreme measures

2007-11-06T13:49:00.000+02:00

Seems Alfred Hitchcock and his fellow Estonian ovophobes have had their revenge, with the announcement that all of Tallegg's egg-laying hens will have to be destroyed due to an outbreak of Newcastle disease.

Postimees reports that all production and sales of eggs from the company will cease immediately, only being restored to full capacity by summer next year. Even at 50% production by March or April, Tallegg are likely to miss out on the annual Easter egg frenzy, and considering they produce 80 million eggs a year - representing almost 20% of their output - it's gotta hurt. (The chickens, at the very least.)

Could be boom time for Latvian, Lithuanian and Polish eggs, all of which will undergo strict checks* upon import, although people appear not to be terribly fazed at the prospect of a lack of local eggs on supermarket shelves or about Newcastle disease itself (which, it should be pointed out, poses no threat to humans): a mere knee-jerking 11% have said they will cut eggs and chicken out of their diet completely, while as many as two thirds say the sorry fate of the birds will not influence their lives in the slightest.

http://www.postimees.ee/061107/esileht/siseuudised/293616.php?newcastle-i-haiguse-tottu-lahevad-koik-talleggi-munakanad-hukkamisele

*and presumably price rises

Europe loves bedwetters

2007-11-02T18:38:00.001+02:00

Estonian band The Bedwetters took home the New Sounds of Europe title at last night's MTV European Music Awards in Munich. I have never heard anything they have done, but it's good news for Estonia I suppose, and their careers.

Impotence, poverty, broken homes, brain death

2007-11-01T20:13:00.000+02:00

Wielding the might of moral righteousness, three paper pushers from City Hall are championing sobriety in the capital with a plan to advertise against alcohol. The fact that they are from the Centre Party - which at the state level is out in the cold in opposition to the current coalition - and that their campaign takes a direct pop at the government's inaction regarding alcohol-related problems in the country is neither here nor there.

Under the plan, reported in today's Linnaleht, off-licences will be plastered with catchy slogans such as "Alcohol destroys your brain cells!", "Alcohol makes you impotent!", "Alcohol tears families apart!" and "Alcohol is a waste of your money!" in order to steer people away from the demon drink. And if the troika behind the campaign had their way, at least a few of the half a million kroons they intend to spend would see the slogans slapped on the bottles themselves, a la the warnings on cigarette packets.

And in fact I tend to agree with their views. I would back them all the way if I wasn't convinced they were just out for political gain rather than actually concerned about the health of the populace. Nevertheless, they have a point: the prime minister and his cohorts claim that putting the price of a bottle of beer up by about 50 cents is a giant step towards the eradication of the drink problem in the country, when it is clearly nothing of the sort, and seem not to be at all concerned that alcohol is responsible for many of the issues they tell us they are otherwise 'addressing'.

In that sense, City Hall's slogans are perfectly targeted, if they are designed to have a shot at the government. They constantly bang on about knowledge-based economies, upping the birth rate, keeping families together and making more money, and our triumvirate of public servants has pointed out - quite rightly, if not altogether comprehensively - that alcohol continues to play a part in scuppering all of them.

Reflect yourself

2007-11-01T19:54:00.000+02:00

With the clocks having been wound back to winter time and night once falling up before the afternoon can get much of a look in, the police have reminded pedestrians in Estonia that they are required, by law, to wear reflectors when out and about after dark.

"We can issue fines of up to 600 kroons to anyone not wearing one," said a policeman from a police station somewhere in Tallinn. "But normally we just hand out reflectors, ha ha!" Well, he didn't put it quite like that, but you get the idea.

He also made the proposal that car drivers who see anyone walking in the dark without a reflector should alert the police to their location, or better yet go and chide them themselves. This is risible for a number of reasons - if they're not wearing a reflector, drivers are less likely to see them in the first place; they should not be making phone calls whilst behind the wheel in any case; and the police must surely have better things to do than chase down non-reflector-wearing pedestrians - but is nice in theory.

I was recently given a spiffy new one that looks a bit like a snowflake-shaped disco ball. And since I don't want to add to the 280 statistics killed or injured last year in accidents involving them not wearing reflectors, I shall attach it to my outerwear at once.

Tits out for the trash mags

2007-10-31T22:15:00.001+02:00

Mari-Leen, the original 'Disturbed Cinderella', is staring out at us from front-end displays once again as she graces (for want of a better word) the cover of the latest issue of Kroonika. Things have been sexed up though since the photo shoot for the equally intellectual Just! in July made her beau, Sietse Bakker - Dutch former supremo of the Eurovision website esctoday.com and current online something-or-other for the EBU - look like a total dork.

According to Kroonika, the "extraordinarily successful" singer has, at the age of 19, finally found true love - which in this case clearly involves a jeans fetish and penchant for bondage. But then, our Ms Kaselaan has never shied away from talking about her sex life. Earlier in the year she made front page news in the highbrow tabloid SL Õhtuleht, with a headline revealing what we all needed to know in that the "rock chick" lost her virginity at the age of 16: a perfectly reasonable age to do so, in her own words.

It's good to know that young girls, the aspiring glitterati of Estonia, have someone of their own to look up to as a role model for natural beauty and the truly important things in life - like how to fit a chihuahua into a Gucci clutchbag.

Trams, planes and automobiles

2007-10-31T14:13:00.000+02:00

It's been talked about for ages, but finally City Hall has come out and laid their plans on the table. Two new tramlines are being planned to run from the city centre: one to the concrete jungle of Lasnamäe, and the other - good news for travellers to Tallinn - between the city's main railway station and the airport.

It seems that the other proposed new lines and extensions (to Mustamäe and Pirita) will have to wait: these new additions alone will take up to six years to complete and cost the city as much as four billion kroons, a large chunk of which it hopes to beg, steal or borrow from the EU.

The end result is nevertheless likely to significantly ease the burden on existing public transport and make the wait more than worthwhile.

Labouring the point

2007-10-30T18:58:00.000+02:00

An article in today's Postimees claims that the rules thought up by public servants from the Ministry of Social Affairs governing what children can and can't do in schools and orphanages are so removed from real life that they are turning them into lazy, cheeky little arseholes incapable of looking after themselves.

Or words to that effect. The article, which turned out to be something of a political vox populi and took two whole journalists to write, highlights the ridiculously finnicky lengths officials would have things taken to - if anyone took any notice of them - as well as the contradictions inherent in them which make you question whether they really are placing child safety first.

Followed to the letter, the regulations would prohibit children from doing just about any cleaning up after themselves, and would send them home (or not even let them out the front door in the first place) if a wind whips up on winter days. They wouldn't even be allowed to make gingerbread men at Christmas.

Lea Tikenberg, the child protection officer from the Haiba orphanage in Harju County, points out that not only are children shielded from anything approaching everyday responsibility, they are also very aware of what they can't be forced to do. "They tell you that you're there to do the work, not them," she said. "But I've been here for five years, and a bit of work never did any of these kids any harm."

Of course, those who support the rules do so claiming that they are there to prevent children from being used as little more than slave labour. Chancellor of Justice Allar Jõks has pointed out that this is not unheard of. "Unfortunately we've seen lots of cases where children have had to get down and scrub the toilet bowls and the like."

Others have highlighted the contradictions in the rules: children are not allowed to wash their own dishes, but are allowed to make themselves a cup of tea or boil themselves an egg.

Former Education Minister Mailis Reps says that the Ministry of Social Affairs is living on another planet - clearly one where they are a lot less resilient when it comes to the cold. She remains as critical today as she was while in office of the weather rules. "If the wind's blowing from the wrong direction, there are places in Estonia where the kids won't be going to school for months," she said.

Fellow former minister Paul-Eerik Rummo, once responsible for the population's affairs (as it were) and having visited a good number of orphanages in his time, has the last word. He feels the regulations should be changed so that the kinds of things kids are asked to do is within the bounds of normality - for as he says: "It was astounding to see 15 and 16-year-olds who have never peeled a potato in their life."

http://www.postimees.ee/301007/esileht/siseuudised/292388.php

Dying for a drink

2007-10-26T20:41:00.000+03:00

In a sobering article in the ever-thoughtful SL Õhtuleht, one of the country's leading tabloid psychiatrists has declared that Estonia is committing national suicide.

Jüri Ennet says that Estonians are drinking themselves into an early [mass] grave, with a surge in alcohol-related deaths in the last decade claiming the lives of thousands. He describes the situation in the country as 'catastrophic'. “With the amount people drink here, the nation's simply killing itself!” he proclaimed, rather dramatically.

Ennet's black view of the nation's fate is based on World Health Organisation data which states that if more than 10 litres of alcohol is consumed in a country per capita each year, things aren't looking too good. The psychiatrist suggests that the figure for Estonia is 13.4 litres. “And we're not talking about tourists here,” he points out. “Every last drop of that is being put away by Estonians!”

As might be expected, and as is probably fair, up to a point, Ennet lays the blame squarely at the government's door. He says that the drug and alcohol problem in Estonia has grown so huge that it should be dealt with personally by the Prime Minister himself. “It's a matter of life and death!”

Salutary words.

http://www.sloleht.ee/index.aspx?id=251696

Broadcast quality

2007-10-25T18:29:00.000+03:00

Estonian Television has come under a hail of criticism lately from a number of unexpected sources. One of the most vocal has been disenchanted ex-employee Vahur Kersna, who has used his position as the country's most popular [former?] TV host to the max in venting his spleen and casting aspersions left, right and centre. Now, however, a heavyweight of a different kind has opened fire on the national broadcaster.

Sydney Olympics decathlon gold medallist and current MP Erki Nool has lambasted ETV in an opinion piece in Postimees for failing to give the people what they want. In it, he waffles on a bit about sport and uses sporting metaphors to make his point, but the top and tails of the article should give you an idea of where he's coming from.

_____

There's an old adage that people vote with their feet. They go wherever things are good, and they prefer whatever is good. If a new production doesn't take off in the theatre and plays to empty halls, no theatre manager is ever going to blame the public for failing to understand the art of it – he simply cancels the play and puts on a new one that will get bums back on seats.

Television is one big stage. But it is one which seems to be subject to different laws, at least where dear old ETV is concerned. Although the public here are voting with their remote controls (if not their feet), it doesn't appear to be bothering the management in the slightest.

Am I just not seeing it or is good entertainment on ETV so well hidden that anything similar put on by other channels is laughed out of the room? I mean come on, if the Swedish Ambassador is unashamed to take part in Dancing With The Stars, why isn't it good enough for ETV to show? Is charity, self-depricating humour and a bit of glitz and glamour for the audience really so vulgar? And isn't labelling the hundreds of thousands of viewers who watch the programme a 'tasteless herd' more than a little arrogant?

_____

Well, I'd say that one's open to debate, Erki. To me he seems to be missing the point entirely. How many countries can you name where the national broadcaster's role is to provide tabloid-style entertainment to the masses? Surely that's the job of the commercial channels. Fair enough, many of the programmes ETV shows wouldn't rate high on the excitement scale, but at the same time a lot of what they broadcast is thoughtful and topical stuff.

You only have to look at the kind of things Kanals 2 and 3 churn out, both imported and home-grown, to see the kind of audience they're aiming for. And the fact that they're winning it is reason enough for ETV to eschew such programming, if you ask me. It's telling and ironic in turns that the highest rated programme broadcast by ETV each year is usually the Estonian national final for the Eurovision Song Contest, if not Eurovision itself.

Perhaps our Erki - flag waver as he is for all things Estonian, as well as for the nationalist Pro Patria party - wants ETV to be a ratings success, full of programmes like Dancing With The Stars and Pop Idol, for the good of its image and reputation. Personally, I feel the fact that it is a little more cerebral than its terrestrial competition is something it should cling on to for dear life.

Besides, I can't shake off the feeling that Erki's simply smarting from the national broadcaster taking a pop at the banality of a programme he himself took part in last year (i.e. Dancing With The Stars, not Pop Idol). Wounded pride, anyone?

http://www.postimees.ee/251007/esileht/arvamus/291432.php

Living on the gluten & wheat free sundried tomato & basil ciabatta line

2007-10-25T17:28:00.000+03:00

Bespectacled Bank of Estonia boss Andres Lipstok, who is currently said to scrape by on little more than 100,000 kroons per month, has endeared himself to the public by claiming that he could quite happily live on 5000 kroons every four weeks, before tax.

In a Q&A with Eesti Päevaleht, Lipstok - who recently made headlines for discouraging people to ask for a pay rise in conditions of runaway inflation - poo-pooed ideas that a man in his position would struggle if his salary were cut by 95%. “Of course I would get by,” he said. “A lot of people in Estonia make do with 5000 kroons.”

While predicting that the average salary in Estonia would catch up to Western levels (roughly 1000 euros per month) by 2010, Lipstok nevertheless warned against it rising too high too quickly. This could hinder the creation of new jobs, he said, and lead to higher unemployment. Nor does he think that basing the minimum wage on the average salary would be good for society: “Because then it wouldn't have anything to do with performance results,” he explained.

What kind of performance do you have to give, though, to earn ten times the average salary?

Where there's smoke...

2007-10-21T15:35:00.000+03:00

I came across a news item on Delfi today that I actually thought must have been a joke. Rather pathetically, it was in earnest.

Tomorrow sees the launch in schools throughout Estonia of the 6th annual Smoke-Free Class competition, in which students and teachers are required to give up smoking for a period of six months in order to be in the running for an all-expenses paid class trip abroad. All very laudable, you might be thinking, as was I at first - until I read that the competition is aimed at students as young as 11.

Now I may be naive, but how many chain-smoking Year 4 students do you know? Health experts claim that there is a serious problem in Estonia with underage tobacco [ab]use, and I can believe it, or at least would if such campaigns were aimed at those, say, 15 and up. But to include those barely into double figures seems a bit over the top for a project that is more cure than prevention. Teachers have expressed their own doubts, concerned that the competition may have the opposite effect to that intended among younger students: arousing their interesting in smoking rather than nipping it in the bud.

Whether or not I am naive, I am definitely a cynic, and had to laugh at the fact that the competition is based entirely on a trust system where participating students sign a class contract promising not to smoke at all during the six-month period. I mean by and large we're talking about teenage boys and girls at their most pliable and irritatingly insubordinate to whom responsibility and maturity are foreign concepts. Entrusting them with anything is risible.

Moreover, where does the lucky class get a free trip to at the end of it all? Amsterdam. Can no one see the irony here? It would be like running an Alcohol-Free Class competition and sending the winners to Oktoberfest.

I'm not intolerant...

2007-10-20T20:55:00.000+03:00

A study commissioned by the Ministry of Justice has revealed that Estonian-speakers are more racist than Russian-speakers, but that Russian-speakers are less tolerant of minorities.

The survey, in which respondents were asked the questions "What kind of immigrants would you not want to work with?" and "What kind of people would you not want to work with?", saw Estonian-speakers outscoring their Russian-speaking countrymen across the board in terms of nationalities and religious groups they would rather not touch with a bargepole, but Russian-speakers being at times markedly more discriminatory when it came to 'social backgrounds'.

While it should be pointed out that at least half of those interviewed in both language groups said they would have no problems working with anyone regardless of their nationality or religion, it was the Estonian-speakers who displayed a much more noticeable reticence to have any dealings with Russians, Finns, Jews, Muslims, Blacks and Eastern Europeans. On the other hand, Russian-speakers were more illiberal when faced with Gays, Prostitutes, Criminals, Drug Addicts, HIV/AIDS Sufferers and the Disabled. Significantly more Estonian-speakers had no misgivings about such people, although in both language groups the overall percentage of the charitable was depressingly low.

Not that you have to look very far for reasons why: Estonian-speakers are generally against outsiders because they've been sat on by them for thousands of years, while Russian-speakers are more critical on 'moral' grounds because of their stronger religious roots. Everything else is likely the product of being a small country where many of these things are rarely seen or spoken about that was once part of a much larger system where such things were taboo, hushed up and/or punishable under the law.

To what end the study was commissioned nobody seems to know, but there you are.

There's no such thing as a free (school) lunch

2007-10-20T19:17:00.000+03:00

A story with an actual Australian-Estonian connection made it into the press earlier in the week (yes, I know I'm playing catch-up here) with the news that Estonia may consider adopting the Australian system of higher education payments.

For those who aren't aware of how this works, and assuming nothing has changed since I went to uni - any Australians reading this feel free to correct me if I'm wrong - the system, called HECS or the Higher Education Contribution Scheme, basically means you don't have to pay for your university studies until you can afford to. Which is to say you still have to pay for some of your fees, but the majority is covered by the government until such a time as you can afford to pay it back.

There is one great benefit to this system for someone like me, who pretty much left Australia as soon as I graduated with my degree: having never since worked in the country for long enough to earn more than the however-many-thousands-of-dollar limit requiring you to start repaying your HECS debt, I have not to date had to pay a cent for my education. Presumably though for other ordinary people still living and working in Australia it all works quite conveniently and much like any other kind of loan repayment.

The call for change in Estonia has come about [not only because the increased level of affluence means that more people can probably afford to pay for their own educations anyway but also] because currently there is a perceived inequality in the fact that some students pay nothing for higher education while others do. But the arguments for and against are many, and much the same as those raised in Australia prior to the introduction of HECS.

Former Dean of the University of Tartu, one-time candidate for Estonian President and current Minister of Defence Jaak Aaviksoo warns that despite the generally positive reactions to the potential introduction of the Australian system, any such change would be a hugely sensitive political issue. He also spoke for many in pointing out that "Anyone who doesn't have to pay for their education at the moment is hardly likely to want to in future".

Tõnis Lukas, Minister for Education, while not necessarily against the plan, sees things differently. He says that in a country like Estonia, which hardly has the biggest population in the world and where the number of university students is steadily dropping (due to decreases in birth rates and such, not because they can't be arsed) (presumably), it is equally possible that the government will end up paying everyone's fees rather than demanding that everyone pay them themselves.

Which, I have been told, is what they do in Finland. (Any Finns reading this feel free to correct me blah blah.) It would be nice to see Estonia transform into an educational utopia, but in the meantime it is just as nice to see that something pioneered in Australia has become the model that up-and-at-'em nations are looking to adopt.

Travel broadens the mind

2007-10-20T18:52:00.000+03:00

In the latest Muusa, the editorial team put a set of questions to the writers contributing to the issue. One of them (the questions) was 'Reason to leave Estonia?'. One of them (the writers) responded in a way that very neatly encapsulated my own thoughts on why anyone would and indeed should leave their country and see a bit of the world. Coincidentally, the writer in question*, Merit Raju, has just moved to Australia. This is what she said:

Tunda, et elad. Kasvada suuremaks, õppida targemaks, avardada oma taluvuse, mõistmise, oskuste, teadmiste, võimete, tutvusringkonna ja maitsete piiri, vaadata kaugemalt ning mõista, mis ja kes on olulised ja kes sa ise oled.

To feel that you're alive. To grow bigger, to grow wiser, to push the limits of your tolerance, your understanding, your skills, your knowledge, your abilities, your circle of acquaintances and your tastes, to see further and to appreciate who and what is important and who you are.

(At the same time, when asked 'Reason to stay in Estonia?' she said, a little harshly but probably quite rightly, that Estonia is the right place for Estonians - it is a "cold country with cold people".)

http://www.muusa.eu/

*no pun intended

Knock the f***ing thing down

2007-10-15T18:54:00.000+03:00

City Hall has announced plans to erect its new, er, city hall on the site of a petrol station next to the Soviet monstrosity that is Linnahall (which, confusingly, also translates as 'city hall'). But I have a better idea: why not demolish Linnahall and stick it there? All it attracts is Russian 'stars' and drunk teenagers. And develop a proper foreshore while you're at it: it's the obvious site to open the city up to the bay. Surely one of the development companies that's in bed with City Hall could make something of it?

The Others

2007-10-13T19:07:00.000+03:00

With all the bluster about integration of late, the debate about what to call Estonia's minorities has reared its ugly head once again. Commonly (although not officially) (and relatively neutrally) (if not altogether flatteringly) referred to as muulased or 'others', a new name is being sought for the nation's more modestly represented residents.

Urve Palo, Minister for Population Affairs, has declared that any word to describe non-Estonians must unite the peoples of the country, and therefore cannot include either negatives or anything in the way of “us and them” (ergo ruling out 'non-Estonians'). It must also be a word that is comprehensible to both the Estonian majority and the country's minorities - of which, the authorities are always quick to boast, there are more than 120.

Let's take a moment then to look at the figures. Estonians make up 68.6% of the national population, with the remaining 31.4% coming from other backgrounds. Of these, the majority are Russians (25.7%), with potentially Russian-speaking Ukrainians and Belarussians accounting for a further 3.3% between them. Finns come in fourth with 0.8%, leaving just 1.6% of the population - approximately 22,400 people - to claim the other 116 or so nationalities, producing an average of 193 people per minority.* And there endeth the lesson.

It's interesting to note, as an aside, that while 68.6% of the population define themselves as Estonians, only 67.2% claim Estonian as their mother tongue. It may be as much for this reason as the fact that not all Russians speak Russian (etc) that most sociologists and other assorted experts are calling for the replacement term to make no reference to nationality or language, although some feel that maintaining a sense of both identities - for example, 'Estonian Lithuanians' - is important in avoiding a sense of forced assimilation.

Others in turn fail to see the neutrality in labelling minorities as 'others'. Jevgenia Haponen from the Russian Cultural Association (herself bearing a Finnish surname) is resolutely against the use of the term from a philological point of view, considering it insulting and claiming that it renders those so labelled “second class and less important”. Former First Lady and folklorist Ingrid Rüütel, meanwhile, feels that 'Estonian national minorities' couldn't possibly insult anyone. “Mind you,” she adds, “the Russians in Ida-Viru county are the vast majority, aren't they.”

It is unlikely to surprise anyone that the Estonian government has taken no position on the matter. The subject has never even been up for discussion... until now, with a solution to the problem needing to be found as part of the development of the 2008-2013 integration programme.

An Eesti Päevaleht poll conducted earlier in the week to elicit suggestions for replacement terms was described by Prime Minister Andrus Ansip as 'praiseworthy' (which indeed it was, once they filtered out all the slander). Bit of an indictment that the initiative had to come from a daily newspaper though. The following is a selection of some of the more amusing alternatives offered by man-in-the-street and experts alike. Bear with me, as translating them is awkward.

•• Hallipassimehed or 'Grey Passporters' (from the fact that approximately 10% of Estonian residents have no citizenship and are issued with grey 'Stateless Citizen' passports)

•• Kasumaalased or 'Stepcitizens'
•• Lisaeestlased or 'Extra Estonians'
•• Mujaltlased/Mujakad or '(From) Elsewherers'

As I myself fall into the category of muulased, I ought to feel more strongly about the issue than I do, and if I had to pick anything I would go for Uuseestlased or 'New Estonians'. Seems to me though that however innocuous the name chosen, you're still pigeonholing people when you're meant to be integrating them.

http://www.epl.ee/uudised/403595

*But if there are 193 Australians in Estonia I'll eat my hat.

Bread week

2007-10-09T19:24:00.000+03:00

This week in Estonia is Bread Week (commonly referred to as Leivanädal). Bread is a big thing in Estonia: it comes in all shapes and sizes, all with different names, and many with ingredients that your average Westerner would baulk at. I, however, am a convert, and would never go back to white bread now.

You see, I have discovered the joys of rye bread, which the uninitiated might refer to as 'black bread', and which is coincidentally the focus of Bread Week this year. (2007 also being the Year of Rye Bread.) It's not for everyone, but most sceptics are usually won over by the local take on garlic bread. Try it and see.

The programme for Bread Week, which has been put together by the Estonian Association of Bakers and the Ministry of Agriculture, would put professional party planners to shame, with schools and community groups up and down the country celebrating the staple food in ways few others would probably find exciting (or necessary, but that is of course what makes it, and Estonia, so charming).

The annual ceremony has already been held at Kadriorg Palace handing over the traditional Fresh Loaf to the presidential pair, and as the patron of the EAB's special School Bread project, the First Lady has also been busy with the launch of an exclusive new loaf designed especially for the country's school children.

"A professional selection panel put together a shortlist of the most healthy types of bread that are currently being baked, and they were voted on by the pupils themselves," Madam Ilves explained. "The children have even designed the packaging. It's made all the more exciting for them by the fact that the bread won't be available in stores!"

Bread Week will culminate in Bread Day this Sunday at the Rocca Al Mare Open Air Museum in Tallinn, where visitors can learn all about the history of bread making, sample the country's finest bready comestibles and enjoy concerts by bread enthusiasts from all over Estonia.

Do the bus shop

2007-10-09T18:43:00.000+03:00

Seems some of the country's buses are worthy of praise after all. The Arter insert in Postimees last weekend had a story in it that came across as so quintessentially Estonian, without actually probably being quintessentially Estonian at all, that I just had to report it.

There is a little bus that travels around the backwaters of rural Estonia which is in fact a shop. It looks like this:

Not little at all then, I suppose. But isn't it a great idea? I think it is. If I lived somewhere where they didn't even have sealed roads (apart from Tallinn, I mean) I'd love to have a shop on wheels stop outside my front door. Mind you, I'm too much of a city boy to ever live anywhere like that.

Nice to know that services like this are still available* in a country where I wouldn't have thought anywhere apart perhaps from Ruhnu and Kihnu (the two blink-and-you'll-miss-'em islands in the Gulf of Riga) was more than about half an hour's drive from a halfway decent supermarket these days.

*or rather available again now - clink on the link below if you want to read the story and find out the details... if you understand Estonian

http://www.postimees.ee/061007/lisad/arter/287449_foto3.php#33

The sex lives of Estonians

2007-10-07T15:51:00.000+03:00

A sex survey carried out by men's magazine FHM and reported on by SL Õhtuleht has revealed some interesting statistics about Estonians.

As might be expected of a tabloid newspaper, Õhtuleht chose to lead with the shocking fact that "almost half of all Estonian men would be willing to try sex with another man". Other interesting tidbits the survey threw up were that the average age at which men and women - or rather boys and girls - in the country lose their virginity is all of 14, but that they only have 4 sex partners during their lives. (Starting so early clearly doesn't inspire them.) (Either that or they value monogamy from a very early age.)

A total of 1334 Estonians took part in the worldwide survey - a perfectly representative 1/1000th of the population.

http://www.sloleht.ee/index.aspx?id=248819

You wait half an hour for a bus...

2007-10-07T15:04:00.000+03:00

Someone from Eesti Päevaleht Online with a video camera has been asking Joe Public what he thinks of the city's public transport. Turns out that apart from one young mother who only hopped on a bus to satisfy her tiddlywink's curiosity and a couple of people who end with "...but things seem to be improving", almost everyone has the same complaints.

1. They smell.

It's not very charitable to say so, but boy are there some stinky people in Tallinn: either the great unwashed or the homeless, often with the added pleasure of their bags full of empty beer cans as they head for the recycling points to claim their 50 cent refunds. The heady mix of dirty bodies, dank clothes and all manner of odours emitting from them does not a pleasant environment make on the city's buses, trams and trolleys when, in the case of the latter two especially...

2. They're dirty.

But then I suppose dirty people lead to dirty buses and what not. It doesn't help that the majority of them were made in the heyday of Soviet production when 'Made In Czechoslovakia' was still being stamped on everything. The trolleybuses come in for particular criticism on this count (except the snazzy new ones). It's the kind of thing where I always wash my hands as soon as possible after riding in them - even if it's the middle of winter and I was wearing gloves the whole time.

3. They're often late.

Or indeed early, as I keep finding with bus no. 8 now that they've changed the timetable but seem to have forgotten to inform the drivers. Sod's law though: on the days I set out earlier for the bus stop in case they do come early, they turn up 5 minutes after they're meant to.

4. They're always full.

Not that there's much you can do about it, I suppose. But in combination with the other three above, it does get to a straw-that-broke-the-camel's back kind of point. You've been waiting for ages for the thing, probably in the cold and drizzle, and when it turns up it looks like it hasn't seen a cleaner in years, everyone is packed in like sardines, many of them smell like they are sardines, and the man you're squashed up against has the worst case of dandruff you've ever seen. Which flakes off his scalp in your direction every time the doors open.

I would probably also add to the list that 5. the tickets, for what you get, are overpriced to buggery. I baulk at the €2 you pay to hop on one of Helsinki's trams, but given how efficient, comfortable and sparkly they are, the fact that the ticket is only twice as expensive as a trip on one of Tallinn's rusting 1960s trolleys is a small price to pay.

http://www.epl.ee/video/402794

Copperart

2007-10-05T13:40:00.000+03:00

No, not a post about the sadly now defunct (?) Australian homeware store, but about Kumu, the new main building of the Art Museum of Estonia.

After decrying the state of architecture in this country I thought I should redress the balance a little by pointing out how wonderful Kumu is, inside and out. It just received another award of some sort, this time from the Copper Development Association in the UK, which doesn't sound all that exciting, but I'm sure they deserved it.

This is what Kumu looks like at the moment:

And here's what it will hopefully look like in a few months' time:

And this is what it looks like when you go in the front door, regardless of the season:

I'm not much of a museum/art gallery person usually, but Kumu is great. A lot of the stuff I can take or leave, but there are a handful of paintings and sculptures I really love, and one installation in particular that is fascinating. Plus you won't pay over the odds to get in and see it all, they have a great shop and the food in the cafe is fantastic. And you can get there by walking through the city's prettiest park, Kadriorg. What more could you want?

Hoist by their own petard?

2007-10-04T23:32:00.000+03:00

This week's integration study has revealed that educated young Russian speakers who also speak Estonian are the labour market equivalent of hot cakes.

The study has shown that those with the best language skills are tertiary educated Russian speakers up to the age of 29 who have Estonian citizenship. Moreover, 70% of all Russian speakers in this age bracket who were surveyed could speak Estonian, compared to the 37% of Estonians in the same age group who had a handle on Russian.

"Young Russian speakers are in a better position," said sociologist and study author Iris Pettai. "Knowing both languages is a significant springboard for them." They make particularly good tellers, she remarked.

"The position of Estonian Russians is continually improving while the position of Estonian speakers grows steadily worse. Skills in several language give you an important head start in a country where Russian speakers make up a third of the population."

How long will it be, do you think, before Estonians stop complaining about Russians not learning their language and start complaining about the fact that they are? It will be ironic if they end up disenfranchising themselves in the name of integration.

Touching a nerve

2007-10-04T17:57:00.000+03:00

Estonia has come in for a bit of criticism from people in high places of late and it seems the natives don't like it. After a good two weeks of being slapped on the wrist, Ingvar Bärenklau spoke out on behalf of the people of his besieged nation yesterday in a front page piece that saw the ordinarily temperate Postimees abandoning all pretence of objective journalism.

In an article entitled Three foreign integration experts teach the government how to get on with Russians, Bärenklau states: "Although the West has never seriously reproached Estonia at the political level for its citizenship and minority policies, envoys from international organisations are bombarding the country with peremptory recommendations for the simplification of its citizenship procedures."

He then adds: "A fortnight ago the Council of Europe's Parliamentary Assembly president René van der Linden riled the public with his Kremlin-minded rhetoric, while last week the Ministry of Foreign Affairs had to listen to the views of sour-faced Senegalese UN Special Rapporteur Doudou Diène on the need for a transition to a multicultural society, which inevitably brings with it the instatement of Russian as a national language."

Bärenklau goes on, highlighting the patently ridiculous recommendations made this week by Thomas Hammarberg, the current Commissioner for Human Rights in Strasbourg, that Estonia should stop requiring Russian-speaking pensioners to take citizenship exams and should grant automatic citizenship to babies born in the country to non-citizens.

I particularly like the undemonstrative use of the term 'sour-faced' in relation to our Doudou. Bärenklau's below-the-belt approach is not uncommon though in the light of all this criticism: similar articles have been appearing all over the place. An editorial on Delfi summarised the barrage of fire the country has come under thus: "You nasty little Estonians, you treat the Russians very shabbily. You have to make concessions to them, and lots of them, and right now"!

It's clearly not just the journalists who think these foreign smartarses should take their precious advice and shove it, though: a Gallup poll conducted on behalf of Postimees yesterday revealed that 80.01% of respondents feel their recommendations shouldn't be taken into account because "they don't know what they're talking about".

Awkward situation; that goes without saying. But as someone once put it, giving the newly first-class majority the right to dictate the terms on which the fallen second-class minority can be seen to be equal is like giving the family of a murder victim the right to commute the killer's death sentence to life imprisonment: either way they're still not going anywhere, and as long as there is resentment, there will always be stigma.

http://www.postimees.ee/031007/esileht/siseuudised/286932.php

http://www.delfi.ee/archive/article.php?id=17065166&categoryID=9738762&ndate=1191358800

Знать эстонский, оставаться русским, чувствовать себя домa

2007-10-04T17:37:00.000+03:00

The Ministry of Education (and Research, not that they clearly did any in terms of marketing in this case) has come in for some well-deserved lampooning for the TV ad they have produced to air on Estonia's one and only channel designed for the Russian-speaking population to promote the transition in Russian-language schools to studies in Estonian.

The clip is just an embarrassment to watch. You don't even need to understand what they're saying to appreciate how lame it is. The slogan for the campaign, which forms the title of this post, means 'learn Estonian, stay Russian, feel at home' - a laudable idea in itself, but the execution... Click on the link below.

http://www.hm.ee/index.php?popup=download&id=6243

When push comes to shove

2007-10-04T16:41:00.000+03:00

An amusing opinion piece written (or at least edited) by Haldi Ellam (and suitably pared down and spiced up by yours truly) on Eesti Päevaleht Offline the other day looks at yet another endearing quirk of the Estonian personality...

Shy and retiring creatures that they are, the people of Estonia would rather say nothing at all when in public than have to communicate with one another.

Whenever I hop on public transport during rush hour I know it's fairly likely that someone will breach my personal space to squeeze past me in their desperate attempt to get out of the vacuum-sealed vehicle. I understand the fact that they want to get off, but what I fail to grasp is why they cannot tell me this, simply and politely. Instead they're happy to steamroller me out of existence just as long as they don't miss their stop.

Seems being polite is not really something we do here in Estonia. It's such an ingrained way of behaviour that it's hard to imagine my life any other way. Perhaps the European Union could fund some classes for us in good manners? After all, I was the same until one day I learned my lesson... in France.

I was out shopping with a friend - a proper French friend - when she berated me for the fact that I was shoving past people without muttering any kind of apology as I did so. She pointed out that it's not that big a deal to highlight the fact you're trying to get past someone. And she was right: a simple “Excuse me!” is not asking much of anyone, and it certainly stops you getting on people's nerves.

So why do the people in Estonia behave the way they do? Is it some kind of Soviet legacy? Were we all brought up wrong? Or is it Scandinavian reserve, nouveau riche arrogance, deliberate provocation or simply that we just don't care?

I don't know, Haldi, but it sure gets on my nerves. If someone holds a door open for you and you walk through it without saying a word, that doesn't make you endearing: it makes you an arsehole.

http://www.epl.ee/artikkel/402013

You get what you pay for

2007-10-02T21:31:00.000+03:00

A survey of 29 European countries has somehow decided that Estonia has the best health care system on the continent. At least, reveals the Health Insurance Fund, in price/quality terms.

The country has improved on its runner-up position from 2006, overtaking Slovenia, who it seems has fallen away to buggery, and beating Austria and the Netherlands into the silver and bronze medal positions respectively.

“The thorough and rapid changes we implemented at the start of the 1990s have served us well,” remarked Haigekassa Chairman Hannes Danilov. He seems not to have grasped the implications of the survey results, however, in adding: “If we maintain the course we are following, we will soon be on a par with Europe's best health care systems.”

I oughtn't to make fun though, since they removed my gall bladder free of charge. Makes we wonder how the price/quality ratio works though: if you don't actually pay anything for the medical services you receive, what kind of quality can you expect? If it's all free, surely it would be churlish to complain even if it wasn't up to scratch.

All hail the Chief Architect!

2007-09-30T13:15:00.000+03:00

In the 1000 words of a recent report on a "British Estonia Chamber of Commerce"* seminar, The Baltic Times has pointed out what most of us already know: that amongst other things, modern architecture in Tallinn is uniformly ugly. Joel Alas reports.

Tallinn City Council’s chief architect has revealed a worrying snapshot of the city’s development – there are no controls over building aesthetics, public transport expansion plans are dependent on European Union funding, and authorities prefer a “self-regulating” traffic system to road expansion.

Endrik Mänd said the council had little power to encourage or direct development, but relied on developers to drive the city’s future. He added that there were no plans for the construction or expansion of roads - the city preferring a “self regulating”* system where pressure points are allowed to build as a way of deterring drivers. “There should be problems... Drivers will learn to avoid certain areas. If we widen certain roads we just invite drivers,” he said.

Mänd also revealed why many new buildings are being created with little architectural vision: the city’s building act contains no mention of aesthetics. “We have no legal support to say no to a building because it is ugly,” he said. “It’s just a question of persuasion.”

www.baltictimes.com/news/articles/18891/
*note the inconsistent use of a) correct titles and b) hyphens

Beating a retreat

2007-09-30T12:12:00.000+03:00

In the aftermath of a Postimees exclusive this week uncovering the barbaric treatment of the drunk and disorderly at Hotell Viru's classy Cafe Amigo - deplorable scenes of victims bound hand and foot being beaten for extended periods in dingy back rooms by thuggish security staff - there has been a call in such newspapers as the Helsingin Sanomat for Finns to boycott the hotel.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Some of my best friends really ARE black

2007-09-28T19:13:00.000+03:00

Many Russian-speakers in Estonia may be finding themselves in the unlikely position tonight of saying those very words. You see, Doudou Diène*, the UN's man on racism mentioned in the previous post, has caused a bit of a stir. Less than two days after being assured by the prime minister that such things are officially frowned upon in the country, he has come out and slammed the state's record on discrimination.

Several articles appeared online in quick succession after Diène spoke at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs today, including UN rapporteur concerned about discrimination and Diene: Language Inspectorate seems harsh. He claimed that the Estonian government paid no attention to discrimination as an issue and failed to listen to the citizens on whose behalf it purports to work.

Diène also highlighted the sticking point of citizenship, and pointed out that the very existence of a Language Inspectorate is viewed by many as discriminatory in nature. “The fact that there are still people living in Estonia who have no citizenship status is evidence enough that there are serious problems,” he said. “The system as a whole needs to be reviewed.”

However, it was the Special Rapporteur's recommendations regarding the language situation in the country that proved most controversial (and which have, predictably, incited the biggest backlash). Diène insisted that with the Russian minority forming such a major part of Estonian society, Russian should be given national language status.

“Estonia needs to move from a defensive position to one that is more multicultural,” he advised. “If 30 percent of the people in society are Russian speakers, it's not wise to ignore the fact.” He nevertheless conceded that requiring citizens to be able to speak Estonian was perfectly understandable, and that everyone in the country should do so.

While Diène pulls no punches, he certainly throws a lot of them. A summary of one of his reports states: "The members of foreign communities and national minorities who spoke to Diène explained, often with great emotion, how they experienced on a daily basis racism, discrimination, a xenophobic atmosphere, a feeling of loneliness within the population and fear of certain institutions." And that was about Switzerland (see link below). Seems no one is immune, however different their circumstances.

Still, for reasons of history alone, it's never going to happen. Russian being adopted as a national language alongside Estonian, I mean. Harri Tiido, someone high up in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, has already come out denouncing the UN guru's findings, pointing out that everything Diène has said is purely his opinion, and that none of his recommendations are binding - they are simply that: recommendations.

"He went looking for discrimination and he found it," Tiido countered tonight in a presumably rather hastily organised interview on Eesti Raadio. "It's all about how you perceive things. Just because one person thinks they're being discriminated against doesn't mean you're dealing with discrimination in any legal sense."

Tiido alleges that Diène twisted the few tangible facts he was presented with into a nationwide epidemic of racism and xenophobia. "Of course there are pockets of racism in Estonia - we all know what's been going on in Tartu. When I spoke privately to Diène, I told him that was a case of a group of skinheads we know about and whose numbers are relatively small, but by then he'd already decided what he was going to say."

In a fairly typical response to someone championing the rights of minorities in a country where they tend not to enjoy any, Tiido concluded by saying that the Senagalese envoy had taken a very one-sided view of the local situation: “Talking to Diène, it was obvious he feels that any group that constitutes a minority has certain rights. But in thinking that way he forgets that the majority have rights too, and that in fighting for the rights of minorities, the rights of the majority have to be respected as well.”

But why is granting rights to minorities always interpreted by the majority as the loss of their own?

http://www.swissinfo.org/eng/swissinfo.html?siteSect=43&sid=7662246

*now with an è!

Some of my best friends are black

2007-09-28T12:53:00.000+03:00

Two days after prime minister Andrus Ansip assured Doudou Diene - the United Nations' Special Rapporteur on contemporary forms of racism, racial discrimination and xenophobia and related intolerance, himself from Senegal - that although racism is not unknown in Estonia it is denounced at the highest levels comes news of yet another local attack on a black student.

"Racism is condemned in Estonia in the strongest terms," Ansip said, adding that Estonia has been a cultural melting pot throughout its history, and remains so today, with 120 different nationalities represented in the country. "And the state will do everything it can to ensure that Estonia is a good home for these minorities in the future, too."

He and his government might want to concentrate on the present, though: September has seen another black student attacked by nationalist skinheads in Tartu, the educational heartland of the nation and self-proclaimed 'City of Good Thoughts' (which, given a better translation of heade mõtete linn would be 'city of good ideas', makes me wonder whether the irony is lost on them in any of this).

Ansip would praise Eesti Päevaleht Offline for the censorious line they take on the matter: "It goes without saying that the idiocy of considering someone lesser than yourself purely on the basis of the colour of their skin should have no place in a civilised society. One black student is worth a million times more to Estonia than a gang of narrow-minded, egg-headed, fatherland-venerating high school dropouts.

"Why, you're asking? But let me ask you: did this student come to Estonia to live it up on the generous unemployment benefits? Or because of the thousands of euros he could stuff his overalls with in some blue-collar job? Or so he could hijack a plane from Raadi airfield and fly it into Tartu's one and only highrise tower? No. He came here to get an education. A foreigner came to Estonia to get an education! That's a real I bow to you to the people who have managed to build up the kind of educational institutions that entice people to come here to study from far-off places. But if they're subjected to a hail of stones as soon as they get here, all they'll take away with them is a view of Estonia as some tiny, backward, xenophobic state."

Of course, if it weren't for the skinheads, they would never get that impression.

http://www.postimees.ee/260907/esileht/siseuudised/285521.php

http://www.epl.ee/artikkel/401839

What do Edgar Savisaar and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have in common?

2007-09-26T19:12:00.000+03:00

They both deny what is blatantly obvious to just about everyone else in the world.

A couple of days after the preposterous Persian president insisted there are no such things as homosexuals in Iran, our mayor and saviour has made the [far less offensive but just as wilfully blinkered] claim, to all intents and purposes, that there is no such thing as underage drinking in Estonia. Or at least that if there is, they're not buying their alcohol from anywhere that shouldn't be selling it to them.

The issue kicked off in the last few days when it emerged that a check-out operator working at Prisma in the Kristiine shopping centre had sold a couple of cans of beer to some 17-year-olds. Hardly the most heinous of crimes, you might think, but it has since cost the supermarket its liquor licence - due in no small measure, I suspect, to Edgar Savisaar sanctioning such a move in the media.

Makes you wonder what City Hall's going to do when every shop and supermarket in Tallinn is found to be selling fags and booze to teenagers, something Northern Police Prefecture head honcho Raivo Küüt has gone on public record as describing as 'out of control'. Of course, you have to believe that's actually the case, and that the city's police know what they're talking about. Our Itkar does not.

"I'm sure the case of Kristiine Prisma is an exception to the rule," he said. When quizzed on the degree of justice that would be brought to bear on a store not caught selling beer to the almost-of-age but, say, vodka to a 13-year-old, Savisaar gave the kind of answer that is the verbal equivalent of sticking your head in the sand. "Impossible," he stated. "But if it were, if a 13-year-old were to be sold vodka in Tallinn, City Council would have to have a serious discussion about it."

You have to feel sorry for Prisma, since they're very clearly being made an example of here, but in a totally pointless and unsustainable way that quite possibly also has no basis in law. I'm not making excuses for the check-out operator who failed to ask for ID, and I'm not saying that 17-year-olds drinking beer isn't an issue. But there are much more effective ways of making your point than reacting in such a knee-jerk manner with your eyes closed to the heart of the problem.

A Single Nation. A Million Voices. An Unstoppable Dream.

2007-09-25T22:00:00.000+03:00

Here is a link to the website promoting the documentary The Singing Revolution. A user called Tanvir seems determined to advertise it in response to everything I say, so I might as well head him/her/it off at the pass and devote an entire post to it. If you were wondering, it is rather good. (The documentary, I mean, not the website.) It is for this reason alone that I am pandering to a spam merchant.

http://www.singingrevolution.com/cgi-local/welcome.cgi

Estonia are the new Hooky World Champions!

2007-09-25T14:25:00.000+03:00

Continuing the trend of vaguely linked posts, today's Eesti Päevaleht highlights the results of a UNICEF report issued late last week which reveal that Estonia leads the world in high school truancy.

Specifically, as many as 45% of students in Year 8 maths classes are skipping class. Or at least they were in 2003, which is when the figures date from (and which begs the question: why did it take them four years to write the report?).

Of course, officials are scoffing at the numbers being thrown about. Someone from the Ministry of Education the paper managed to get hold of claimed that the figures in the UNICEF report were not based on any statistical data, only to admit that that's because no such data exists. At least, not in the MoE.

School principals are also frowning upon the report's findings, stressing that the 10% of students who are dropping out of school altogether is a much bigger problem, and pointing out that while there is a problem with truancy, it is 'no worse than about 1 in 5'.

Even that says something though, I would have thought. I can't say I blame the kids myself, really, if Year 8 maths here is anything like Year 8 maths was when I was at school, and given the numbingly rigid structure of the education system in this country. If they had more say in what they learn, perhaps they would be more inclined to stick with it.

http://www.epl.ee/uudised/401257

Kati Come Home

2007-09-25T10:56:00.000+03:00

If president Toomas Hendrik Ilves had his way, Mary Tamm (see story below) would know lots of Estonians - because she would abandon her life in England and return to her ancestral home to live!

On a trip to the US of A to speak at the UN on behalf of Europeans everywhere, Ilves popped in to Estonia House in New York to have a chinwag with the local emigres and urge them to think about dropping everything to migrate to a small, cold, foreign country.

“Thank you for keeping Estonianness alive,” he said, using a phrase that is difficult to translate without it sounding silly. “But you should know that Estonia has moved on, and awaits you. It is no longer a poor country, but has grown powerfully, and I urge you to come to Estonia and see all this for yourselves.

“We have come so far that you might even think: perhaps my income in America is a little higher than it would be in Estonia, but my children could be educated in Estonian, we could eat Estonian bread, and live an Estonian life,” the president continued. “So think about coming home. We need every Estonian we can get.”

Now, much as I love rye bread, it hardly constitutes a convincing argument for moving half way around the world. Nor would the Estonian education system form much of an incentive, given how inflexible it is. And it's easy for our Toomas to exhort others to follow in his footsteps when they led him to the presidency: salary is probably not quite the issue for him that it would be for others contemplating such an upheaval.

There's something wonderfully romantic about these calls to home, although they're completely pointless: the only ones likely to heed them are the elderly, and they're hardly going to contribute to the gene pool any more than they already have. But then Ilves is a diplomat to the last, and what else are you going to say to a bunch of lifelong expats frankly. “It's charming in a quaint sort of way that you maintain some semblance of being Estonian despite the fact you would obviously never consider leaving your comfortable life here to actually live in the country” wouldn't exactly cut the mustard.