When push comes to shove

An amusing opinion piece written (or at least edited) by Haldi Ellam (and suitably pared down and spiced up by yours truly) on Eesti Päevaleht Offline the other day looks at yet another endearing quirk of the Estonian personality...

Shy and retiring creatures that they are, the people of Estonia would rather say nothing at all when in public than have to communicate with one another.

Whenever I hop on public transport during rush hour I know it's fairly likely that someone will breach my personal space to squeeze past me in their desperate attempt to get out of the vacuum-sealed vehicle. I understand the fact that they want to get off, but what I fail to grasp is why they cannot tell me this, simply and politely. Instead they're happy to steamroller me out of existence just as long as they don't miss their stop.

Seems being polite is not really something we do here in Estonia. It's such an ingrained way of behaviour that it's hard to imagine my life any other way. Perhaps the European Union could fund some classes for us in good manners? After all, I was the same until one day I learned my lesson... in France.

I was out shopping with a friend - a proper French friend - when she berated me for the fact that I was shoving past people without muttering any kind of apology as I did so. She pointed out that it's not that big a deal to highlight the fact you're trying to get past someone. And she was right: a simple “Excuse me!” is not asking much of anyone, and it certainly stops you getting on people's nerves.

So why do the people in Estonia behave the way they do? Is it some kind of Soviet legacy? Were we all brought up wrong? Or is it Scandinavian reserve, nouveau riche arrogance, deliberate provocation or simply that we just don't care?

I don't know, Haldi, but it sure gets on my nerves. If someone holds a door open for you and you walk through it without saying a word, that doesn't make you endearing: it makes you an arsehole.

http://www.epl.ee/artikkel/402013