How Estonian are you?

A former colleague of mine sent me a list the other day with which to check whether you've been in Estonia too long or how Estonian you really are. Having cut out about two-thirds of it, it goes something like this:

You know you’ve been in Estonia too long when...

- Things are not ‘great’ or ‘amazing’ anymore; they’re just ‘normal’.

- You hear loud-talking passengers on the bus and immediately assume they are drunkor Russian-speaking or both.

- You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the supermarket and which ones can be used for garbage.

- You chat with people by MSN or Skype even if they’re two metres away from you.

- You stop asking “How are you?” when you meet people: you simply greet them with ‘hei’ or ‘chau’ and keep your distance. If you want to be very effusive, you lengthen the last vowel.
- You’ve replaced other English expressions with Estonian ones too. Your native language has seriously deteriorated.

- Your definition of spicy food has seriously deteriorated.

- Customer service is no longer linked with courtesy.

- You don’t think twice about wearing flip-flops indoors.

You know you are from Estonia when...

- You are convinced that Estonia is very strategically located.

- When someone asks you “Where is Estonia?” you quickly reply that it’s in Northern Europe close to Finland.

- You have actually been to Finland.
- You take a box of Kalev chocolates when visiting friends abroad.

- Kohukesed form part of your diet.

- You check the thermometer before going out.

- You look in both directions before crossing the road, even if it’s a one-way street (or pedestrian mall).

- You declare your taxes on the internet like all normal people do.

- A foreigner speaks to you in broken, horrible Estonian and you go on and on about how wonderful their Estonian is compared to ‘the Russians’.

- Your best friend’s girlfriend is your English teacher’s daughter and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with your advisor, who is friends with your...

- You’ve cheated on your partner at least ten times but still think you’re in a good relationship.

Funnily enough, most of the second lot also apply to me. I guess that means I've been in Estonia a fair while?